Tuesday, December 29, 2009

December 29

Today there were a lot of temptations at work. Cake, brownies, cheese and crackers, tortilla chips and salsa, candy... I end up in the kitchen a lot because I always seem to be cleaning my dishes or getting water. I really wanted to try the homemade desserts but had to keep reminding myself of the rewards in sight. I also had to remember:

Your body is the result of thousands of past decisions.

Stay on track!


B - green smoothie: cauliflower stems, collards (6-7 oz total), 1 T flax, strawberries, blueberries, 1/4 kiwi, persimmon

L - large salad: romaine, black beans, 1/2 green pepper, 1/2 small avocado, baby carrots
- 1 large orange, 1 apple

D - stir-fry vegetables: broccoli, carrots, mushrooms, cabbage, spinach
- 1 brownie

Monday, December 28, 2009

Picking myself up ... Again

The holidays are over and it's time to kick it back up. I feel like I'm always doing some kind of program - either "on" or "off" the wagon but the reality is that I need to ditch that mentality and just strive to be as ON as I can all the time. I am disappointed I am not going into 2010 at the goal weight I originally set for myself and have still not conquered my emotional eating demons, but what am I going to do? Give up, keep eating, and continue down this unhealthy path? Of course not. So I'm starting again - not January 1, RIGHT NOW.

It's technically "off-season" which means that although I am exercising a whole lot less, it is supposed to be easier for me to lose weight. Also, this is the best time to make a change like this so performance is not compromised when the workouts do pick up.


B - green smoothie: cauliflower stems, collards (7 oz total), 1 T flax, strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, persimmon

L - large salad: romaine, black beans, 1/2 green pepper, 1/2 small avocado, baby carrots
- 1 large orange

D - Chinese broccoli, 1/3 bag edamame, 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

E - swim: 1:00

Friday, December 4, 2009

Breaking the cycle

I've been having a hard time lately. Ever since I took a trip about 2 weeks ago, I've been eating SAD food and haven't gotten back to ETL like I should be. I'm discouraged. I usually start the day with good intentions. I wake up full of hope, generally get a workout in, have a healthy ETL breakfast and ETL lunch. Sometimes, I'll even make it through dinner, having a hearty ETL dinner of greens and beans.

But then something happens. I start to feel uneasy and have "cravings." I mentally battle this and know logically FULL well that they are just cravings and will pass. How can I be hungry -- I just ate! But I give in! What the heck! I start to eat whatever it is I'm craving -- generally either salt or sugar -- and then I feel like I've "blown it" and might as well start again tomorrow. But in the meantime, I'll just continue to eat crap!

TOTALLY ILLOGICAL.

It disturbs me that I can be successful in so many other areas of my life (career, relationships, etc) but can't seem to get a handle on something so simple as eating.

I'm tired of this cycle. But I'm not sure how to break it.

Friday, November 13, 2009

November 12, November 13

Yesterday I had planned on getting up early and doing a bike workout but when the alarm hit, I was sooooo tired and couldn't force myself out of bed. This is the third night of not getting enough sleep (6-ish hours) so I think my body was just needing to rest. I'm okay with this -- kind of -- but the OCD side of me feels guilty that I didn't get my workout in. Yes, I am crazy!

I wasn't hungry in the morning when I woke up and I think it's because of the overeating the previous night. I must try to remember that it's okay to be a little hungry before going to bed. I wasn't hungry until lunch time and when I finally ate that salad, it tasted really good. Fuhrman is right in that food tastes better when you're hungry. :)

I was supposed to go out with the BF to a local beer event. To prevent myself from being tempted at eating at the restaurant, I ended up drinking my morning smoothie around 5 pm. The traffic was bad and by the time we finally met up, it turns out we were both too tired to go downtown. We ended up at a pizza place and I didn't do too well - ended up having pizza!


B - nothing, wasn't hungry

L - large salad: romaine, cabbage, 1/2 medium avocado, baby carrots, 3/4 cup black beans, 1 small tomato, buttermilk-like dressing
- 1 mango
- 1 fuyu persimmon

S - green smoothie: 2 pears, strawberries, 1 T flax, 6.5 oz collards (really sweet and yummy)

D - 3 slices mushroom pizza, 1/2 bottle beer

E - pilates: 0:15


Today has been a better day. I got my morning AND evening workout in and so far, have been eating well. I'm feeling a little frustrated because I feel like I should have lost weight this week but I don't think I have. I know that my exercise isn't what it used to be since it's technically "off-season" and I'm not doing 4-hr bike rides or 2 hour daily sessions. I'm trying to stay positive and not let my mind go into the "throw in the towel" mentality. Because yeah - eating won't make me feel any better and it definitely won't help the situation!

I'm going to leave soon to spend time with the BF who will be cooking SAD food. He promises we'll take a trip to the grocery store soon though so I can show him what food I like to eat. Hah. So I don't overeat, I already ate some veggies. :) I will update this post tomorrow with whatever else he serves....


B - green smoothie: 1 pear, strawberries, 6.25 oz bok choy, 1 T flax seed

L - salad: romaine, cabbage, baby carrots, 1 small tomato, 1/2 large avocado, 3/4 cup black beans, buttermilk-like dressing
- 1 fuyu persimmon
- 1 fuji apple

D - small pot of broccoli, collards with tomato sauce
- 1 persimmon, 1 dried persimmon
- the rest is TBD

E - swim: 1:10, weights: 0:45

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

November 11

I felt tired this morning and really tired during the morning workout... almost like I was bonking. I wonder if I didn't eat enough last night?

I had major cravings today - mostly this afternoon. I think I'm looking for a break and wanting to do something else. I mostly survived (didn't eat SAD anyway) but ended up eating some sunflower seeds (more than I need and they were salted) because... oh, I don't know why - because somehow I justified it as being better than SAD. Yes, while it's better, I can DO better!

I had a massage scheduled today at 7 pm so I pieced together some odd food before I left. I wasn't hungry leaving the massage and had another victory since I went to the grocery store afterward and walked out with NO JUNK food. I even walked down the bakery and snack aisles tempted to take something! When I got home though, I was a bit "snacky" - but not hungry! I logically acknowledged this, but I still ended up eating. It wasn't a binge but definitely overeating. I didn't need it!


B - green smoothie: 2 pears, strawberries, 1 T flax, 6.5 oz collard greens

L - salad: romaine, 1 tomato, baby carrots, 1/2 avocado, 3/4 cup black beans, buttermilk-type dressing
- 1 persimmon

S - 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

D - (pre-massage) 1.5 cups garbanzo beans, 25 dates, 1/3 bag berries and cherries
- (after massage) 5 dried persimmons, about a pound of edamame peas

E - swim: 1:00

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

November 10

I'm really trying to get off my sugar/salt addiction so when the cravings hit, I've been allowing myself snacks of ETL-friendly food. In this case, it's been fruit. I didn't need the apple in the afternoon but I was fighting the urge to go by the admin's candy dish. I also didn't necessarily need to eat more after I came home from class at 10:30 pm, but I was feeling "snacky", in the middle of making green smoothies for the next day, and afraid I'd dive into some unhealthier habits so I allowed myself to eat more fruit. It's probably not going to help with weigh-loss, but so far, it's helping with bingeing!


B - green smoothie: 1 T flax, kiwi, strawberries, 6.5 oz kale
- 2 large fuji apples

L - large salad: romaine lettuce, 1/2 medium avocado, 1/2 cucumber, 3/4 cup black beans, 1 small tomato
- a lot of large seeded grapes (maybe 30?)

S - 1 lg fuji apple

D - steamed broccoli with tomato sauce
- 1 persimmon, 1 date, 1/3 bag frozen berries and cherries

E - bike: 0:40, run: 0:10

Monday, November 9, 2009

Weekly Goals: Nov 9 - Nov 15

I have to do everything in baby steps. It's the only way I won't get overwhelmed and the only way to stay focused. The main problem I need to address is the bingeing. Sure, I could blame emotions, stress, triggers, people, but in the end it's my choice to do it. Food has no power over me. Logically, I think I understand the problem now. I only do it at home -- alone -- and nowadays, it is always in front of the computer. It's my "wind down" time. I just veg out and internet surf. It's like mindless eating in front of a TV, except I do it in front of the computer. I cringe writing that.

It's just a BAD HABIT.

And any habit can be broken. I need to train my brain to do something else instead to wind down. I've thought of a few steps I can take in the right direction so here's what I'll focus on this week:


  • NO eating in front of the computer. That's it. It's a rule that I can't break.

  • Brush and floss my teeth right after dinner. I won't eat more because I'm too lazy to brush and floss again!

  • Read my ARC after dinner and anytime I'm tempted to binge.

  • Look at the list of things I could do instead of eating.

November 9

So uncreative with the titles, but since I'm not doing the strict 6-week plan I don't know what else to title this. I'm not sure how long I'll be posting food logs, but I'll give it a go again for now.

Some good things I did today: Today someone brought in their leftover Halloween candy where it sat in the kitchen ALL day long. I was really tempted to take a few treats ("They're tiny, one won't do any harm!" said the inner evil voice) but didn't. Whew!

I was really hungry around 4 pm and decided to snack, knowing I wouldn't be able to eat dinner for another 3 hours. I was planning on going to the market after work and was afraid if I was too hungry, I'd end up buying junk and worse, eat it in the car on the way home.

I had planned on eating more for dinner but was surprisingly satisfied after the salad. Hmmm... I must still be full from the overeating this past weekend. All in all, I think it was a good day!


B - green smoothie: 1 T flax, kiwi, strawberries, 6.5 oz kale

L - large salad: romaine lettuce, apples, pears, walnuts
- 1 large fuji apple

S - about 16-20 large seeded grapes

D - salad: romaine (I weighed it today - it was 13 oz), 1 roma tomato, 1/2 large avocado (weighed this also for fun: 1.25 oz), 1/2 cucumber, about 2 T hummus, 1.5 cups garbanzo beans
- mango

E - swim: 1:10

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Here I am again.

I didn't stop ETL-ing -- just stopped posting. Life got in the way of that. I did some triathlons in between and just finished up the last one this past weekend. Now race season is over and it's officially "Fat Season." I'm determined to make it "Fat LOSS Season." Hah. How awesome would it be to end the year off lighter than I am? I still think ETL will get me there, but is it too much wishful thinking that I could get to goal by the end of the year? That would be the best Christmas gift I could give me!

If I'm brutally honest, I've been about 60% successful implementing ETL. I've had many starts, stops, and hiccups along the way. I bet if I can move that closer to 90%, or heck, even anywhere closer to 100%, I'd be doing better. The one thing that seems to be throwing me off is the emotional eating. I am still bingeing and overeating when stressed out. I want to break these bad habits once and for all.

This is part of the reason I am posting again. Posting gives me accountability and anything I can do to make myself accountable is one step further from those bad habits.

I weighed in earlier this week at 119 lbs, which is less than I've been since I started this blog. Only a little more than 10 lbs and I'll be at Fuhrman's recommended weight.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I feel like I'm always starting day 1

I am still trying to adopt ETL, with mixed success. I had a really good, solid 2 weeks recently, but then screwed it up this week with a few days where I went way off-plan and binged on SAD food. I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself. It's very frustrating! I FEEL better eating food that's good for me, I KNOW it's better for me -- so why don't I just do it already?!

I thought about what was working for me during the past two "good" weeks. This is what I came up with:

  • Was completely honest. Logged all of the food I ate, then posted it to an accountability support website I'm a part of. Somehow having to report back to people really kept me accountable.

  • Kept a counter of the binge-free days. I hadn't made it past 1 week in a long time and was able to make it past that by keeping track of the days. Seeing a running counter made me not want to break my streak. I would like to make it to that magic 21-day => habit mark.

  • If I had a slip-up (and there were some), told myself it was not a big deal, that I'm doing the best I can, and immediately got back on track. I need to do this so I don't give up and binge.



Onward...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Some good, some bad

After the workout this morning, one of the guys handed out homemade chocolate chip cookies to the group. He was bragging about how he (not his wife) made them and I felt bad refusing one, so I took it. I immediately put it away and didn't eat it. That was a success! But I couldn't throw it out. I took it to work with me where it sat on my desk. The entire day!!! I should have thrown it away... but at least I didn't eat it.

As a "compromise", around 4 pm when I really started thinking about eating the cookie, I had some seeds instead. Too many, but again, at least the cookie remained uneaten.

Tonight was a dinner out with the girls. I was very concerned about this since I didn't want people commenting about how I eat. I don't know why I care! No one should care about what I eat. I had an interesting discussion with a close guy friend before I went. I asked if he ever thought about what he ordered at a restaurant when out with people and if he ever felt socially pressured to eat a certain way. Nope, he said. What is my problem?

I didn't choose the best item -- I know I had way too much salt today, and I did cave and have some french fries. I feel like I am always saying this, but it could have been worse... could have ordered a real burger with blue cheese dressing, fries, and a Coke, which is what one gal had... oh and a brownie sundae with ice cream!


during workout: 1 GU

9:00 am - green smoothie: 1.5 kiwis, some strawberries and blueberries to make the total fruit content about 8 oz, 1 T flax seed, 7-8 oz kale, 2 oz pom juice

12:30 pm - large salad: romaine lettuce, baby carrots, 1/2 small avocado, 1 roma tomato, 1/4 cucumber, 3/4 cup black beans, casinera's caesar dressing

4:00 pm - 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

6:30 pm - social dinner out: veggie burger on whole wheat bun (dry) with lettuce and tomatoes, handful of french fries

E - bike: 0:50, run: 0:15

Monday, August 10, 2009

Here we go again...


9:00 am - green smoothie: 1.5 kiwi, some blueberries to make the total fruit about 8 oz, 1 T flax seed, 7-8 oz kale, 2 oz pom juice

12:30 pm - large salad: romaine lettuce, handful baby carrots, 1/2 small avocado, 1 roma tomato, 1/4 cucumber, 3/4 cup black beans, casinera's caesar dressing (about 1/8 recipe)
- 1 medium organic gala apple

6:30 pm - blended salad: mostly kale, with some raw cabbage (maybe 4 oz total), 1 T sesame seeds, dregs of a bag of sunflower seeds (maybe 1 tsp)
- 2 huge bowls of blanched broccoli and cabbage with tomato sauce (this had a little salt)

8:30 pm - frozen berries

E - swim: 1:05

Monday, July 27, 2009

Monday progress report

I am finally, FINALLY starting to feel better regarding my body. Feeling good about myself creates the inertia I need to stick with ETL. I weighed in this morning:

126.6 / 26%

Down 3.4 lbs from the last weigh-in 3 weeks ago but up 1% in BF. Not sure what that indicates...? I do know that my pants are feeling looser which I like.

Since I'm trying to incorporate some of the Beck ideas again, here is a list of the things I've been good about this week (aka giving myself credit!):

  • I had a green smoothie for breakfast every weekday morning (I had long workouts on the weekends and didn't eat breakfast)

  • On Thursday, there was a low-key "race" event where I only had ONE slice of pizza at the post-race buffet table and then came home and ate several cups of steamed broccoli.

  • At two social meals over the weekend, I didn't cave in and ordered vegetarian fare while my companions ordered pancakes, omelets with cheese, and bacon.

  • At a group dinner out, where I was under more stress than usual (try having a group dinner where an ex-boyfriend shows up and you're trying to meet guys!), I chose to order a vegetables and brown rice dish off the menu instead of what everyone else was having.

  • I completed all my workouts (not sure if I should give myself credit for this since this is almost always true!).



This is what I'd like to accomplish this week:

  • Get more sleep! I am much less likely to make bad decisions when rested. I'm going to aim for getting 7+ hours at least 5 days this week.

  • Start doing pilates again. My midsection is where I gain the most weight (and probably why my pants get tight). My goal is to do a pilates video at least 2x this week.

  • Stop eating junk food in front of the computer. This is a horrible habit of mine. Some people eat in front of the TV - my "TV" is the computer.

  • Remind myself that I do not need to be 100% perfect. If I slip up, just say "oh well" and get right back on track.

  • Weigh-in next Monday and report! I'll feel much more accountable if I know I have to report back.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I haven't given up

I could tell you about how busy I've been with a roommate moving out, a few more dates I've been on, social events I've planned and attended, and long bike rides I've been on, but it doesn't matter in the end... I've neglected this blog! In doing so, I also fell back into some old patterns of SAD-eating. I've done okay this past weekend, still having green smoothies and salads, but I've let too many treats back into my daily meals.

I've decided I don't think I can do the "6-week plan"... at least not right now. That probably should have been obvious with all the breaks in the actual 4 weeks that I did it. Instead, I'd like to concentrate on developing a more consistent ETL approach to my daily food. I seem to go through periods of "perfect" meals and then weekends of horribly sugary, fatty, salty foods. I may still post daily food, and I'll keep weighing in weekly to track my progress, but I'm not going to commit to a certain time period. This is a lifestyle after all...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Day 27 & 28

I am still eating too much sugar and obviously not 100% ETL-compliant.


Tuesday
7:00 am - (during workout) - 90 cal of a sports drink

9:00 am - 4 figs

11:00 am - 1 cup beans, 4 cups salad greens, 2 T pumpkin seeds
- kale, mushroom, broccoli mixture in tomato sauce
- about 4 cups watermelon
- 1 banana

6:00 pm - homemade bean burrito (beans, whole wheat tortilla, lots of cabbage)

E - bike: 1:15, run: 0:30


Today wasn't much better, except that I exercised a lot.


Wednesday (today)

8:00 am - bagel

12:00 pm - lentil, kale, and collards stew

7:30 pm - (dinner with friend): veggie burger, a few fries

E - bike: 0:55, swim: 1:00

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Weighing in

Even though I've been dreading it, I finally weighed in on Monday. I decided I need some kind of measure of progress besides "my pants feel tight" and may try weighing daily for motivation. I am hoping seeing the scale Friday morning will motivate me not to indulge too heartily over the weekend.

It was bad:
130.0 / 25% BF

Yikes! I knew it was going to be high since my pants DO feel tight and I cannot even get into certain skirts but I had no idea it was that bad. Consider that I was 117 back in January when I was doing well with ETL and had only 10 lbs left to go. Oh well, I'm not too demoralized. I know I can get back there.

P.S. I know the body fat indicators aren't very accurate but I want to track and see it go down.

Days 24 - 26

It was a busy holiday weekend and there was some straying, but it could have been worse. I've kept track each day so here is the last few days with my notes.

Saturday I had a company party to attend. I had no idea what they were going to serve. Last year it was BBQ fare (burgers, hot dogs, potato salad) but luckily this time it was Mexican themed, so there were some other options.


8:00 am - (during workout): 2 powerbar gel blocks

1:00 pm - salad: romaine lettuce, red bell pepper, avocado, carrots
- mushroom, kale, broccoli mixture with tomato sauce

6:30 pm - (company party): beans, salad mix, 1 flour tortilla, guacamole, 1 bite of some kind of marinated beef, 1 cookie

E - bike: 2:00, run: 0:30


Sunday I decided to sleep in, and as a result, started my workout at 10 am! I ended up finishing around 1:00 pm and was already running late for a birthday party I attended an hour away. Unfortunately, I didn't get to pre-eat like I had planned so I ended up at the party STARVING and ate too much.


11:00 am - (during workout): 3 powerbar gel blocks

1:00 pm - plum I grabbed on the way out

5:00 pm - (Chinese-themed birthday dinner): 2 vegetarian egg rolls, 4 vegetarian dumplings, 1 small piece lobster, about 1/4 cup jellyfish salad, green beans, about 1/2 cup noodles, slice of birthday cake

E - bike: 1:30, run: 1:00


I stayed up late Sunday night trying to prep for the week. I found so many melons in the fridge from various social parties I've been to and tried blending them as the primary fruit in my smoothies this week. It was okay, but very watery.


9:00 am - green smoothie: 12 oz honeydew and cantaloupe, 1 T flax seed, 6 oz organic salad greens, 4 oz apple juice

1:00 pm - salad: mixed salad greens and spinach, mixed berries, 2 T pumpkin seeds
- mushroom, kale, broccoli mixture with tomato sauce
- about 1/2 cantaloupe
- small pc (1/2 cup?) of apple pie

7:00 pm - (dinner at friend's house): 1/4 head of cabbage (boiled), about 6 vegetarian dumplings

E - swim: 1:00

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Day 23

If you read the post below, you may have guessed that there was some unplanned eating yesterday. You would be right. Some friends and I do an annual swim on the 4th of July, which we celebrated yesterday. There was the celebratory brunch afterward which was not met with great choices, and then an evening date later at a burger joint that definitely did not include good choices.


10:00 am - egg white omelet with tomatoes and mushrooms, 1 slice raisin bread, coffee, half of the breakfast potatoes on my plate

2:00 pm - great greens

7:30 pm - hamburger and a few french fries, about 1/4 of a giant cupcake

E - swim: 1:00

Would you date a vegan?

I'm trying online dating, which is making dates somewhat challenging. It is one thing if you're vegetarian, because you can almost always find something on the menu, without drawing too much attention. But I feel that sticking to strict ETL, it is hard to order anything but a salad. I don't come out and tell people I am "vegan" or even "vegetarian" because I don't feel that I am. I'm a nutritarian, but hardly anyone knows what that means!

Most guys I meet claim to "love to eat", and seem disappointed that they can't take a girl out for pizza and burgers. I would never ask anyone to eat the way I do, just to respect my choices as I do theirs. But I get the impression they feel judged for their choices.

I went out on 2 first dates recently -- one to a burger joint and another to a brewery. I had a burger at the burger place and felt horrible about it afterward. But I had justified it in my mind. I didn't want to seem "different" or "weird" when it's already so difficult for me to meet guys to begin with. I didn't want to provide a reason for someone NOT to date me. That sounds silly as I read it. My logical side says that I shouldn't be compromising my values and that I shouldn't date anyone who doesn't accept who I am anyway. Uh huh. A bit easier said than done.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Day 22: It's the collards!

Definitely the collards. My morning smoothie was gross this morning. I think I'll stick with kale, spinach, bok choy -- or any other greens except collards!

Except for the cheese, today was a decent day.


9:00 am - green smoothie: 12 oz fruit (oranges and plums), 1 T flax seed, 7 oz collards

1:00 pm - lentil soup, figs

7:00 pm - broccoli, tomatoes, and mushrooms, sunflower seeds, 1 whole wheat english muffin, about 1 oz cheese

E - run: 0:40

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Day 21

I didn't enjoy my morning smoothie as much this morning. I really wanted something warm this morning and the smoothie wasn't cutting it. Because I wasn't satisfied, I reached out for some sunflower seeds.

I went out to dinner with a friend tonight and we went to a vegetarian Indian restaurant. There was probably too much salt and oil, but I tried my best.


9:00 am - green smoothie: mixed fruit, 1 T flax seed, 6-7 oz collards, 2 oz sunflower seeds

1:00 pm - salad: 1 roma tomato, 1/2 cucumber, 1 small avocado, romaine lettuce, carrots

7:00 pm - Indian restaurant: eggplant and pigeon pea curry, chickpea curry, potato dosa

E - bike: 0:55

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Day 20

I was sore yesterday, but not too much today. Once I got on the bike though, I knew I was still tired from the race. I kept the quality high and did the best I could.

I had a snack of sunflower seeds today, knowing that I was going to the grocery store after work and not wanting to be there famished. I know that I won't keel over and die from hunger (I've got plenty of fat stores!) but I fear going to the store too hungry will be tempting and I'll make impulse purchases.

I found some notes on when I was doing well with ETL back in December. It was 2 weeks worth of notes and food logs. I could see that none of the days were perfect, but that I maintained a positive attitude throughout. I mentioned the good things I had done for the day, and how I was feeling good about eating this way.

I was in a happier mental state in December, but this shows that I CAN do it and serves as a gentle reminder to focus on the positive.


9:00 am - green smoothie: mixed fruit (leftover fruit salad from weekend party), 1 T flax seed, 7 oz kale

1:00 pm - salad: 1 roma tomato, 1/2 red bell pepper, 1/2 cucumber, 1 small avocado, romaine lettuce

4:00 pm - 2 oz sunflower seeds

7:00 pm - 4 cups boiled cabbage and collards, handful of almonds, 2 dates

E - bike: 0:45, run: 0:20

Monday, June 29, 2009

Day 19

I thought about it some more, and I really have to commit to doing this. I can't just be wishy-washy and log some days and not other days. I know there will be times I will stray but I will try to minimize them. I can do anything for 23 days.

Also, I need a better way to gauge how I'm doing, instead of the "pants test." So, it is with reluctance, that I will finally start stepping on the scale. I have avoided it because I am dreading seeing just how much damage I've done to myself since March. I am hoping this will be motivating, rather than demoralizing. I will weigh-in this Friday.


9:00 am - green smoothie: mixed fruit (leftover fruit salad from yesterday's party), 1 T flax seed, 7 oz kale

1:00 pm - salad: 1 roma tomato, 1/2 red bell pepper, 1/2 cucumber, 1 small avocado, romaine lettuce, carrots

6:00 pm - vegetable and bean soup, 1/2 cup rice, stir-fried vegetables

E - swim: 1:00

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Still here!

I haven't disappeared, I promise. But I have had one heck of a week. I co-hosted a double baby shower and also raced so this week has been very hectic. Both events were today so I am feeling relieved that everything is done!

I have been so-so with my eating but obviously, not logging. Back to reality tomorrow. I'm not sure that it can still count as the "6 week plan" with all the breaks I've taken in between. I wonder if I should stop counting days or start over?

Monday, June 22, 2009

Day 18

Today has been a better day. Mondays always seem to have that "fresh start" feeling.


10:30 am - green smoothie: 12 oz mixed fruit (oranges, mango, strawberries, blueberries), 8 oz mixed greens (mystery greens and bok choy), 1 T flax seed

1:00 pm - salad: romaine, basil, tomato, carrots, cucumber, red pepper, 1 small avocado, 1 oz sunflower seeds

7:00 pm - tofu soup dish, 1/2 cup brown rice, collard greens

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Bad Habits

I binged last night and again this morning. Yesterday was a bad episode. I realized I wasn't even hungry but did it anyway. It's not about hunger. Food comforts me in some way that nothing else can. Or rather, I haven't found anything else that works just as well. Sure, I think about the things I CAN do instead (e.g. clean, sleep, call someone) but I always reach for food.

I disliked writing that paragraph because it sounds so dramatic. Logically, I should adapt a no-nonsense approach. These are all just bad habits -- the way I "always" reach for sugary items when stress hits and the way my thoughts gravitate towards, "I'll never succeed at this." But habits CAN be broken.

In a desperate move, I picked up Beck again. I've read through and done some of the program before but never made it all the way through. She says in the book, "If your doctor gave you an antibiotic, would you only take half of the pill?" No, right? So why do anything half-heartedly?

I'm going to go through some of the exercises again in an attempt to change my distorted thinking. Bad habits can be broken!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Day 17

I haven't been bingeing, but I have been overeating... and not logging as I should be. I had to work late the last couple of days and had so much stuff to do once I got home that I didn't log onto the computer. So I'm also sleep-deprived! Not good. I am going to start setting an alarm 1 hour before I should be going to bed to make sure I stop whatever "project" I'm doing and start getting ready for tomorrow.

I was feeling very bleh and cranky this morning. Nothing particularly bad has happened, but I think I am just frustrated and sleep-deprived. I'm frustrated with myself that I can't seem to stick with this consistently and that I've let myself get to this point. I remember this every time I pull up my pants -- which is whenever I go to the bathroom... which is quite often because I drink a lot of water! I am also reminded of this on days that I work out with the group. It's a small group of triathletes and everyone seems very fit and lean. I'm fit, but maybe not so lean. The faster people also tend to be the leanest and I can't help but wonder.. if I was leaner, would I be faster?

But it's best not to dwell on negative issues so here's the positive for today: despite all of the frustrated thoughts going through my mind, I drank my green smoothie for breakfast (it was a true struggle -- I seriously considered pulling over and getting some kind of bagel on the way to work), I stuck with my salad for lunch, and I had some vegetables for dinner. Not perfect, but could be worse. And now, I'm going to bed!


9:00 am - green smoothie: 6 oz peaches and nectarines, 1 T flax seed, 6 oz kale

12:30 pm - salad: napa cabbage, lime, carrots, 1/2 red pepper, cucumber, small avocado, 2 oz sunflower seeds

3:00 pm - box (6 oz?) raspberries

6:00 pm - 1 cup blanched Chinese broccoli, boiled potatoes, a little peanut butter, 1 fun-size mounds bar

E - run: 0:50

Monday, June 15, 2009

What is it?

I bought several bunches of interesting-looking greens at a farmer's market over the weekend. The woman wasn't sure what a few of them were and the guy who seemed to know everything was busy at the time. I was in a rush to get somewhere so I didn't stay to find out. I was able to identify most of them but I still don't know what these two are:



Strong and bitter-tasting. Also tastes minty.



Tastes similar to spinach. Not as strong-tasting.

Any ideas??

Day 16

I ended up not logging my food over the weekend. I confess that I did eat some SAD food but it wasn't all bad. We ended up going to a vegetarian Indian restaurant on Saturday night. I want to get better at handling social situations like these, but this is a step in the right direction. Previously, I would have said, "Screw it," and have gone back to my regular patterns. Not this time.


9:00 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, 1/2 nectarine, 1/2 peach, handful of blueberries, 1 T flax seed, 6 oz bok choy

1:00 pm - salad: mixed greens, baby carrots, 1 red bell pepper, 1 small avocado; 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

7:00 pm - blanched Chinese broccoli, about 4 cups
- soup with Napa cabbage and brocccoli
- cherries

E - swim: 1:10

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The upcoming weekend

The weekend is coming up and there are going to be some challenges... friends are coming into town tomorrow night and we're supposed to have breakfast and dinner together on Saturday. They already told me they want to check out this Mexican place for the breakfast burritos and split them all between us so we can "try them all." I don't know what the plan is for dinner but it will be out and the choice will most likely be decadent. On Sunday, my family is celebrating Father's Day early because my dad will be visiting his dad next weekend. My sister and BIL are serving smoked ribs, that they prepared for another BBQ last month and are very proud of (they just bought the smoker). They have asked everyone to bring sides so I plan on bringing a salad, roasted vegetables, and a low-fat fruit crisp... mostly so I can be sure there will be something I can eat! I really do not want to eat ribs and would like to stick to a somewhat reasonably close to ETL-plan but I'm not sure how without everyone giving me grief and bothering me about it. They already think I'm weird with the huge amount of vegetable consumption I eat.

I know I should just stick to my guns if I'm really committed, but it's much easier said than done.

Day 15: Hungry all the time!

Four consecutive days down... but I am hungry more frequently than I would like. I haven't been able to not have a snack between lunch and dinner. I should hold off on lunch until later in the day so that the time between lunch and dinner isn't as long, but the feeling of hunger usually wins out. Today I didn't eat breakfast until 9:30 so I thought I could wait until at least 1 pm to have lunch. Nope. By 11:30, my stomach was growling. I caved an hour later. Then I tried to hold out again in the afternoon, but I also knew that I wasn't going to have dinner until later, so I went for some seeds.

Speaking of seeds, I need to go and buy my own unsalted, unroasted seeds and keep them at work instead of buying the pre-packaged 2 oz ones. They are roasted and unsalted and I usually eat the entire bag, which is 1 oz more than I need to be eating. A part of me is nervous about bringing in my own seeds because I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself and will eat them all. With the pre-packaged ones at work, I have to pay for them so I'm not likely to eat thousands of calories worth of seeds!

I am wondering if I need to eat more at breakfast or lunch, but I am eating until I'm satisfied...?

My smoothie this morning was bitter! I think I accidentally blended an orange seed into it. I was so hungry that it didn't matter and I finished it all anyway though. I still haven't experienced the "throat hunger" Dr. Fuhrman talks about.


8:00 am - (between workouts) 1 GU

9:30 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, 7 oz watermelon, 7 oz bok choy

12:30 pm - salad: 1 romaine heart, 1 roma tomato, 1 small avocado, cucumber, baby carrots
- bowl of split pea and carrot soup

5:00 pm - 2 oz RS sunflower seeds, 2 mini pieces of chocolate

7:00 pm - swiss chard, tomatoes, artichokes mixture (1.5 cups)
- green beans, about 1-2 cups
- fresh fava beans, mmmmmm
- a lot of watermelon
- blueberries

E - bike: 0:55, swim 0:30

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Day 14

I woke up this morning feeling very hungry so I ended up eating a leftover half of a powerbar from the weekend. I felt like I wasn't going to be able to sustain a "time-trial" effort if I didn't eat something... probably not the best choice, but it was convenient. I'm still trying to figure out how to eat while training.


5:45 am - 1/2 powerbar

8:30 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, 7 oz watermelon, 7 oz bok choy
- 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

12:00 pm - salad: 1 romaine heart, 1 roma tomato, 1 small avocado, cucumber, carrots
- about 1.5 cups leftover steamed swiss chard/tomato/artichoke mixture

4:30 pm - (after swim): 2-3 cups watermelon

7:00 pm - 2 bowls split pea and carrot soup, 4 cups leftover swiss chard/tomato/artichoke mixture

(will probably have some fruit in a bit)

E - bike: 0:55, swim: 0:50

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Day 13

I had an awesome workout this morning. No hints of injury coming on like I felt last week. Hurray! Maybe it was a simple matter of changing my running shoes out? I wrote the date on them with a Sharpie so I can remember to change them after 300 miles next time. Last week I felt my hip hurt, as it has been in the last month, and a new pain I hadn't felt before in my right foot. It reminded me of stress fracture pain, which I've had before. In worried moments like those, I remind myself that if I lost some weight, it would be less stress on my knees, hips, and feet. Another incentive to stay committed... and who knows, maybe I'd gain some speed!

Except for the tortilla chips, and the watermelon snack, it was a great eating day.


9:00 am - green smoothie: watermelon and strawberries (12 oz total), spinach and collards (6 oz total), 1 T flax seed

1:00 pm - salad: 1 romaine heart, 1 roma tomato, 1 small avocado, 1/3 large cucumber, handfuls of baby carrots
- 1 oz tortilla chips

3:00 pm - watermelon, a lot, 4 cups?

6:00 pm - steamed a mixture of Swiss chard, canned tomatoes, canned artichokes, garlic and lemon juice
- 1 bowl split pea and carrot soup
- 1 bowl blueberries

E - bike: 0:40, run: 0:30

Monday, June 8, 2009

Day 12

I needed a bit of a mental break over the weekend... plus it didn't help that I went to see friends in Santa Monica Saturday night and we went out for sushi. It's not the worse choice (nothing fried and no red meat!) but I'm sure Dr. Fuhrman would not approve. Sunday I got some much needed sleep and slept in. I really struggled mentally to get the workout in. It's much harder when it's (1) solo and (2) not done first thing in the morning. I kept thinking about all the chores I needed to do and that by the time I finished it would be 3 pm (it was a 2.5 hr workout). But I DID it... and I'm so glad I did! It set the tone for the day... instead of feeling guilty and feeding that by eating (my guess as to what I would have done if I didn't get it in), I managed to prep salad fixings for the week and get in some cleaning. I wasn't able to check off all the chores, but it was still a good day.

Fueling off the streak, I'm having a pretty good day today so far. I bought an entire watermelon and put some in my smoothie this morning. It was okay, but not particularly sweet and I think I might like other fruit mixtures better.


9:00 am - green smoothie: watermelon and strawberries (12 oz total), spinach and collards (6 oz total), 1 T flax seed

12:30 pm - salad: 1 romaine heart, 1 roma tomato, 1 small avocado, 1/3 large cucumber, handfuls of baby carrots
- about 1 oz whole wheat crackers
- watermelon, about 2 cups

7:00 pm - blanched Chinese broccoli (4 cups) with a bit of oyster sauce, 1/2 bag edamame, 3 cups watermelon

E - swim: 1:10

Friday, June 5, 2009

Why do I keep falling?

I haven't posted in a few days because yep, you guessed it, I have been bingeing again. I hate that I do it, but sometimes I feel as if it is the only way to escape from the stress. And the last few days have been pretty stressful. Overeating is comforting... and it is sick.

Right now I feel very calm. I don't want to eat anymore but I know this feeling will pass. I am addicted to fat, sugar, and salt. Unfortunately, unlike drug and alcohol addicts, I can't completely abstain from food. I'm afraid of what will happen tomorrow when the calm is gone. I'm afraid that I'll find myself in the kitchen again, searching the cupboards for anything edible, stuffing my face with more and more food. My body will scream "Stop!" and that I am full but something inside me ignores it and says "I'm hungry -- keep eating!"

I know what I need to do. I have to face the problems and stress in my life and find another coping mechanism. I need to take care of myself and remember that eating doesn't solve anything. Actually, it just makes things worse. I know all this but it's easier said than done.

I don't know when I'll stop this madness but I hope it is soon.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Day 11

Some unnecessary items for sure, but (1) did not binge and (2) had a smoothie for dessert.


6:00 am - powerbar

9:00 am - green smoothie: 1 T flax seed, 2 oranges, strawberries and blueberries (8 oz total), 1/2 cup soy milk, 6-7 oz mixed kale, collards, and cauliflower stems
- cherries, maybe 1 cup?

12:30 pm - salad: 1/2 big head of romaine, 1 small avocado, 1 roma tomato, 1/3 cucumber, 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

2:00 pm - 1 pc dove chocolate, fun size snickers bar

7:00 pm - Chinese broccoli, green beans, mixed vegetables and edamame
- smoothie made with strawberries, blueberries and soy milk

E - bike: 0:40, run: 0:30

Monday, June 1, 2009

Day 10

It's a new day and the start of a new month. I'm going to try to be more consistent with my logging.


9:00 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, 8 oz combined strawberries and blueberries, 6-7 oz kale, collards, and cauliflower stems, 1 T flax seed

12:45 pm - salad: 1/2 head romaine, 1 roma tomato, 1/2 cucumber, 1 small avocado
- 1 cup creamy asparagus soup
- 1 cantaloupe

4:00 pm - 2 small gala apples

7:00 pm - braised tofu, 1/2 cup brown rice, Chinese broccoli, a few dumplings

E - swim: 1:00

Sunday, May 31, 2009

The morning after

Confession: I have a bit of an eating problem. I have a tendency to binge. I'll save the history for another day but presently, it is a problem I'm working on. It's gotten better and I understand it more, but I haven't conqured it yet. Instead of dealing with reality, I eat to escape. It masks the loneliness, the painful emotions, heck, even the boredom! It's become a coping mechanism for me... except that it has horrible consequences. I feel miserable afterward and of course, this only contributes to weight gain. People have asked me (and I'm sure more have wondered) how I can do the amount of exercise I do and STILL not be thin... well, what they don't know is that I'm hiding this secret.

As you can guess, that's what I did on Saturday.

Today I have one goal: eat without bingeing. I am going to a brunch in a little bit where there will be zero ETL-friendly food (ethnic brunch) so I'm going to try not to stress.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Day 9

It's been a pretty good day for a Friday. Sometimes when I stay in on Friday nights (alone), I tend to turn to food out of boredom.. or maybe loneliness? Today was a bit social in nature since I went to a potluck with some guests that are staying with me from out of town. It was a good time and kept me occupied at night when my thoughts generally turn to food.

One good move today... went for a swim in the morning and we all went to breakfast afterward. I survived without ordering ANYTHING except coffee (black) and then went to work where my green smoothie was waiting for me. Yay!


9:00 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, blueberries and strawberries, 1 T flax, 6-7 oz kale and cauliflower stems

12:30 pm - steamed collards, mushrooms and cauliflower with tomatoes

6:30 pm - (potluck) boca burger (no bun), various salads, some fruit, sampled a few desserts

E - swim: 1:00

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Day 8

My stomach has been acting a little weird lately. I am addicted to sugar. I can't seem to go one day without craving it intensely. I have also been giving in. I know that the only way to stop the addiction is to stop feeding it, but so far I have not been successful.


9:00 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, blueberries and strawberries, 1 T flax, 6-7 oz mixed kale, cauliflower stems

12:30 pm - salad: romaine lettuce, 1 tomato, small avocado, green pepper, 1 T hummus
- 1 apple
- 1 lime bar a coworker gave me

4:00 pm - 2 bananas, 1 fun-size pkg m&ms

7:00 pm - steamed collards with mushrooms and tomatoes
- sampled a bit of a cake I made for a potluck tomorrow

E - run: 0:40

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Day 7

I don't know how to handle social situations... the guys wanted to go to breakfast after the bike ride and then I went and had Indian food with friends for dinner. I don't like to draw attention to my strange eating habits and just shared in the food they ate.


8:00 am - bagel, hummus on the side

9:00 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, 2 kiwis, 1 T flax seed, some strawberries, 8 oz cauliflower stems

12:30 pm - salad: romaine heart, 1 roma tomato, 1 small avocado, 1 green pepper, the rest of the hummus from breakfast, 2 oz roasted, salted sunflower seeds
- 1 apple

5:00 pm - 1/2 bag (5-6 oz?) edamame

7:30 pm - Indian food: 1 piece naan, some vegetarian curry, some rice, 1 samosa, dried fruit, 1 piece chicken

E - bike: 1:10

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Day 6

A few days turned into more than an entire week! I'm not going to make excuses because they mean nothing. Just jumping back in and getting back to plan today... besides the sunflower seeds and marinara sauce, it looks ETL. Much better than the binge-fests of the weekend.


9:00 am - green smoothie: 2 oranges, 2 kiwis, a few strawberries, 9 oz cauliflower stems, 1 T flax seed

12:30 pm - salad: 1 romaine heart, 1 roma tomato, 1 green pepper, 1 small avocado; apple

5:00 pm - 2 oz roasted, salted sunflower seeds

7:00 pm - a huge amount (6-8 cups?) mixed boiled cabbage, mushrooms, and kale with commercial marinara sauce

E - bike: 0:45, run: 0:30

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A little lapse...

I know it's been a few days now since I've logged anything. I've been putting in late hours at work and honestly the last thing I want to do is turn on the computer when it's 10 pm at night and I should have been asleep an hour ago. But I know that without logging, I tend to let more things slip. The last few days have been somewhat ETL-ish, but definitely closer to 60% versus the 95% I'm striving for.

Today should be the last day I've had to stay late so I hope to return to regular logging tomorrow. No more excuses already.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The First Weekend

I know my days haven't been 100% perfect ETL... they are probably closer to 80-85% but this was the first real test over the weekend and I'm sorry to say I fell off the wagon. I have a hard time adhering to the guidelines in social situations and being the "weird eater" and this is what threw me off.

I had a party on Saturday and another social gathering today and both days I ate many things I shouldn't have (pasta, sweets, meat, to name a few). I feel horrible writing this and I'm hoping this feeling will stick with me so I don't slide like this again. I also feel physically gross and have a huge headache.

I'm getting back on the wagon starting now.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Day 5

Sorry that my titles are not very interesting but I am not an especially creative person! Today was "Bike to Work Day" and for the first time, I participated! It's a good 25 miles away and though I've often brought my bike to ride before work or at lunch, I've never actually commuted via bike. The morning ride was nice -- cool, lots of cyclists, minimal traffic. The ride home was something else... the wind had picked up, there was more traffic, and I was tired. On top of that, a road I had taken home was closed due to an event so I took a detour which added another 20 minutes.

I had plans for a dinner out with a friend at a Mexican restaurant. Definitely not 100% ETL but it could have been worse. I also didn't need the chocolate or powerbar mid-day but I was feeling really hungry.


7:00 am - (during bike ride) 1 GU

8:30 am - green smoothie: 1 T flax seed, 4 oz mango, 8 oz strawberries, 6 oz mixture of kale and parsley; 1 oz sunflower seeds

12:00 pm - salad: romaine, cucumber, 1 tomato, small avocado, roasted red and yellow bell peppers.
- Tuscan Greens and Beans soup, 2.5 servings?

4:00 pm - fun-size m&ms, powerbar

5:30 pm - (during bike ride): 1 GU

7:00 pm - (Mexican restaurant): 1 potato taco, 1 fish taco, 1 bean burrito, 5 tortilla chips, salsa

E - bike: 3 hours, broken

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Days 3 & 4

Got home pretty late last night doing a club race so I didn't have time to log in. I ate some things off-plan yesterday, but I think I still did well considering the circumstances... I'm still dealing with how to handle social situations. Luckily, I was pretty beat after the race (felt like throwing up) so I didn't want to eat the food. I got away with eating just 1 slice of pizza and no dessert! Of course, later when I got home and had showered an hour later, I was starving!


9:00 am - green smoothie: 1 orange, 8 oz strawberries, 1 T flax seed, 6 oz cauliflower stems
- 1 oz sunflower seeds

12:30 pm - large serving caponata + broccoli + black-eyed peas

2:00 pm - fun-size m&ms

5:00 pm - powerbar (before race)

7:00 pm - 1 slice veggie pizza, some salad, but no dessert!
8:30 pm - 1 artichoke, 1 small berry muffin (supposedly low-fat, made by roommate), 1 cookie biscuit

E - bike: 1:10, swim: 10 min, run: 25 min


I am doing really well this week not bingeing and following all of my bad-habit goals, but I don't seem to be able to have one day where I don't have at least one "treat." I'm not getting down on myself because this is definitely an improvement... just noticing.


8:30 am - green smoothie: 1 T flax seed, 4 oz mango, 8 oz strawberries, 6 oz kale and parsley

1:00 pm - salad: 1/2 head romaine, small avocado, tomato, 1/4 cucumber, roasted red peppers
- caponata + broccoli (2 cups?), + 3/4 cup black eyed peas

5:00 pm - 1 pc dove chocolate, 1 oz sunflower seeds, 1 apple

7:00 pm - bite of roommate's bean burrito, 3 bowls tuscan veggie soup, spoonful of candied kumquats

E - run: 0:40

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Day 2

I woke up hungry. That's a first. I almost felt like eating something, but the "I'm starving!" feeling subsided. We had a hard workout today of bike/run intervals and later, the coach talked about the importance of eating before our workouts. He said it should be around 300 calories and that you could drink juice if it was hard to take in food that early in the morning. This is pretty standard advice in sports nutrition and it makes me wonder if I should be eating beforehand again. I used to have oatmeal before my workouts which worked well, but ETL advocates less frequent meals so I've stopped doing them. I haven't noticed a decrease in performance yet, so for now I'll stick with not eating.

I got very hungry this morning around 11 am and again around 3 pm. Those used to be my standard snacking times. I had a strong desire to buy something from the vending machine at work. But I had brought extra food with me and questioning whether I wanted to eat the food I brought. The answer was "no" which proved it was a craving, not real hunger.

Around 4 pm, I really did want to eat my food, so I caved and had some beans. I also have a huge headache today, but I'm guessing that's from the "detox."


9 am - green smoothie: 1 orange, 8 oz strawberries, cauliflower stems, kale, parsley, 1 T flax seed

11 am - apple

12 pm - salad: romaine, small avocado, roasted peppers, 1/2 cucumber, 1 tomato, no dressing
- caponata with added broccoli and 3/4 cup black-eyed peas

4 pm - 3/4 cup black-eyed peas

7 pm - went out with roommate to a Korean tofu house: tofu soup with mushrooms, pickled vegetables (probably too much salt)

E - bike: 0:50, run: 0:30, during workout: sports drink (100 cal)


It's not perfect with the snacking, but it's far better than I've been doing recently and I won having not given in to the siren call of the vending machine.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Day 1/42

My first healthy eating day in a looooong time.


9 am - 1 lb mixed vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, carrot mix), 1 T flax seed, 1 apple, 1 orange

12 pm - broccoli, kale, bok choy, tomato mix (about 2 cups), 1 apple, 1 orange

4 pm - rest of lunch: 2 more cups of the veggie mix

7:30 pm - salad: romaine, roasted red peppers, 1/2 cucumber, balsamic vinegar, 1 small avocado, Caponata (Broccoli-Mushroom Relish), pineapple

E - swim: 1:10, bike: 0:15


I had an exercise test after lunch so I didn't want to eat too much and saved the rest of the food for later, when I was really hungry (late afternoon). No real cravings today yet. My roommate thought I was pretty weird seeing the amount of vegetables I was eating though.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Good Changes

I thought I'd start with a list of the things I HAVE done right so far. I believe that having a positive attitude leads to success! Cheesy, I know.

In the past 6 months:

  • I've given up diet coke. I used to be addicted and would drink at least one everyday. No more!

  • I've stopped eating dairy. This was tough. Though it wasn't hard to give up cheese, I like milk (I'm actually grateful I'm not lactose-intolerant!) and yogurt. I used to make my own nonfat yogurt all the time. I drink coffee black now because places seem to never have soy milk to put in the coffee. Yes, coffee is something I should eventually give up also but one thing at a time!

  • I've cut down meat consumption by 90%. It's not 100% and I'm not sure that it ever will be. I like seafood.

  • I've stopped eating before workouts. Every sports nutrition book will tell you to eat breakfast before working out. I always used to have 1/2 cup of oats before a workout, sometimes with raisins or nuts. I've stopped that. I'm not totally convinced that this was a good change (how can every sports dietitian and professional athlete be wrong?), but I haven't noticed any adverse effects to my performance during workouts (including long bike rides) so I will stick to this for now.

Friday, May 8, 2009

A wake-up call.

Long story short: Read Eat to Live (henceforth, ETL) but the book that cemented it was reading The China Study. How can one continue to eat animal products after reading that?! I've been trying at it since August of last year but am still not 100%. I did initially lose 5 lbs (with 10 lbs left to get to Fuhrman's "ideal weight") but had a relationship end in March. Two month's worth of pity parties later (yes, I am an emotional eater), and I'm now at my heaviest.

I had a wake up call yesterday. Actually, I've had three in the last week:

I tried to put on a skirt this morning and couldn't get the zipper up.

Tonight, a close friend, who has been staying with me, poked me in the stomach and half-jokingly asked, "What's up with the belly?" Ouch. I was mortified. He is brutally honest.

Last weekend I saw my parents at a family party. My mother pulled me aside and asked if I was pregnant. She honestly thought I was! I wanted to die.

Drastic times call for drastic measures.

I'm committing to the 6-week plan (again), starting Monday. But "my way" this time. I know it won't be perfect. Don't try to tell me I can commit if I really want to... I know myself and stating that I have to do anything 100% just brings out the perfectionist and drives me crazy... it causes too much anxiety and sets up the all-or-nothing attitude that usually ends up in thinking I'm a failure and giving up after one slip. So I'm going to do the best I can. My way will pretty much be sticking to the original 6-week plan outlined in the book with the following exception:

I'm going to use non-ETL food for training. I'm a triathlete and eat processed energy gels, bars, drinks, etc. during training. I'm not giving this up.. for now. One problem at a time...

I started this blog as a place for me to write down meals and thoughts about what is working and what isn't. Who knows, maybe someone else will find this helpful?