December 29

Today there were a lot of temptations at work. Cake, brownies, cheese and crackers, tortilla chips and salsa, candy... I end up in the kitchen a lot because I always seem to be cleaning my dishes or getting water. I really wanted to try the homemade desserts but had to keep reminding myself of the rewards in sight. I also had to remember:

Your body is the result of thousands of past decisions.

Stay on track!

B - green smoothie: cauliflower stems, collards (6-7 oz total), 1 T flax, strawberries, blueberries, 1/4 kiwi, persimmon

L - large salad: romaine, black beans, 1/2 green pepper, 1/2 small avocado, baby carrots
- 1 large orange, 1 apple

D - stir-fry vegetables: broccoli, carrots, mushrooms, cabbage, spinach
- 1 brownie

Picking myself up ... Again

The holidays are over and it's time to kick it back up. I feel like I'm always doing some kind of program - either "on" or "off" the wagon but the reality is that I need to ditch that mentality and just strive to be as ON as I can all the time. I am disappointed I am not going into 2010 at the goal weight I originally set for myself and have still not conquered my emotional eating demons, but what am I going to do? Give up, keep eating, and continue down this unhealthy path? Of course not. So I'm starting again - not January 1, RIGHT NOW.

It's technically "off-season" which means that although I am exercising a whole lot less, it is supposed to be easier for me to lose weight. Also, this is the best time to make a change like this so performance is not compromised when the workouts do pick up.

B - green smoothie: cauliflower stems, collards (7 oz total), 1 T flax, strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, persimmon

L - large salad: romaine, black beans, 1/2 green pepper, 1/2 small avocado, baby carrots
- 1 large orange

D - Chinese broccoli, 1/3 bag edamame, 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

E - swim: 1:00

Breaking the cycle

I've been having a hard time lately. Ever since I took a trip about 2 weeks ago, I've been eating SAD food and haven't gotten back to ETL like I should be. I'm discouraged. I usually start the day with good intentions. I wake up full of hope, generally get a workout in, have a healthy ETL breakfast and ETL lunch. Sometimes, I'll even make it through dinner, having a hearty ETL dinner of greens and beans.

But then something happens. I start to feel uneasy and have "cravings." I mentally battle this and know logically FULL well that they are just cravings and will pass. How can I be hungry -- I just ate! But I give in! What the heck! I start to eat whatever it is I'm craving -- generally either salt or sugar -- and then I feel like I've "blown it" and might as well start again tomorrow. But in the meantime, I'll just continue to eat crap!

TOTALLY ILLOGICAL.

It disturbs me that I can be successful in so many other areas of my life (career, relationships, etc) but can't seem to get a handle on something so simple as eating.

I'm tired of this cycle. But I'm not sure how to break it.