Christmas Dinner

As mentioned previously, food is always the center of most of my family gatherings. The host was providing an almost entirely non-ETL menu (everyone seems to think my "weird eating" is just a fad) so of course I brought my own food.

A slice of Thanksgiving non-meat loaf, bean-creamed spinach, and some steamed broccoli:

Thanksgiving Non-Meat Loaf
(Dr. Fuhrman)
6 servings

1 1/2 cups cooked brown rice
2 tablespoons arrowroot powder
4 tablespoons water
2 teaspoons Bragg Liquid Aminos
1 box soft tofu, drained and patted dry with paper towel
3/4 cup chopped walnuts
1 1/4 cups chopped onions
1/2 cup chopped organic celery
2 cups chopped portobello mushrooms
1 tablespoon water
1 tablespoon Dr. Fuhrman's VegiZest
2 teaspoons Spike (no salt)
1 1/2 teaspoons oregano
1 1/2 teaspoons basil
1/2 teaspoon sage
3/4 cup whole wheat bread crumbs
Instructions:

Cook rice according to package directions.

Meanwhile, mix arrowroot powder, water, aminos, and tofu together in a high-powered blender.

Add walnuts & blend until smooth.

Saute onions, celery, and mushrooms in water with seasonings and herbs until vegetables are soft, stirring occasionally.

Mix tofu mixture, vegetables, bread crumbs and rice together in a bowl. With a paper towel, spread a small amount of olive oil in a loaf pan.

Bake at 350 degress for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Let cool 30 minutes. Turn loaf out and slice.

Note: May be served with low sodium ketchup.

I pretty much followed the recipe, substituting oats for the whole wheat bread crumbs. I didn't have VegiZest so I used an organic no-salt seasoning blend I bought from Costco. I also couldn't find arrowroot so I used tapioca flour instead.

I enjoyed this! It was much better than the Quinoa Loaf I had made for Thanksgiving. It actually did form a firm loaf which was great! I ate it plain (without ketchup) but it probably would be good with mushroom gravy too.

Bean-Creamed Spinach
(Lorna Sass, Short-Cut Vegan)
4 servings

1 tablespoon olive oil [omitted]
1 cup coarsely chopped onions
1 3/4 cups cooked navy or cannellini beans or 1 (15-ounce) can navy or cannellini beans, drained (rinsed if nonorganic)
1 (10-ounce) package frozen spinach
1 cup water
1 tablespoon instant vegetable stock powder
2 teaspoons dried dill or 1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice (optional)
Freshly ground black pepper to taste

Heat the oil in a medium saucepan. Sauté the onions for 1 minute, stirring frequently. Add the beans, spinach, water, stock powder, dill, and salt and bring to a boil over high heat. Cover and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes.

Break up the block of spinach with a fork and stir well. Cook until the spinach is tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Puree the mixture with an immersion blender (or transfer in small batches to a food processor or blender and puree until smooth).

If the creamed spinach seems too thick, thin slightly with lemon juice, which will sharpen the flavors, or with water. Season with pepper to taste. Depending upon the consistency, serve either in small bowls or on plates.

This was a winner too. It doesn't tasted exactly like real creamed spinach (yuck) but that's okay because I detest creamed spinach anyway. I wanted a dish I could take to the family gathering that didn't look too strange - especially since I already brought my loaf! Heh. I told everyone it was "creamed spinach" (leaving off the "bean") part and no one said anything to me. I'm sure they weren't fooled but they probably didn't guess that it was beans that provided the creaminess.

Lemon Lentil Soup

I had a couple of duds last week and didn't want to post them but this one is a winner!  I wasn't expecting it, since the list of ingredients didn't sound like it would be, and I was anticipating yet another bland soup.  But this one was (1) quick (no pureeing in a blender!) and (2) delicious. 

Because I like to make things in large quantities and freeze them, I doubled the recipe.  It made a good amount, but I'm not sure about "12 servings."  Maybe 12 1-cup servings?  I ate more than 1 cup last night. :)  When it came time to put the red lentils into the pot, I realized I didn't have 2 cups of red lentils.  I had a little more than 1 cup.  I filled the rest of the cup with brown lentils and when I ran out of those I added some split peas into the mix.  The only other change I made was to use dandelion greens instead of bok choy.  When (yes, I said "when" and not "if") I made this next time, I will add more greens -- it could use a lot more.

This soup is chunky, hearty, slightly sweet from the carrots and has a great flavor from the combination of ingredients.  The recipe can be found here (you have to be a member at Dr. Fuhrman's website to view).

Thanksgiving recipes

Food is always a huge affair at my family's household. This year, I made sure I bought dishes so I wouldn't feel deprived during the holiday. I made and brought the following to dinner:

Quinoa Loaf with Mushrooms and Peas (Whole Foods Market)

This was a disappointment. It wasn't bad, just a little bland. My "loaf" also did not stick together at all, so we had to scoop into the pan and dig up the mixture. It wasn't the end of the world, but it was a little embarrassing!

I followed the recipe exactly, except sticking with the ETL guidelines, so I didn't use the olive oil to saute the mushrooms (I water-sauteed) and did not use salt. It tasted like a quinoa grain salad, and although it had plenty of "goodies" in it, I didn't seem to taste much of it. Some people tried it and told me they liked it, but I'm not sure they weren't just saying that to be polite! In the end, I was happy to have a main dish that I could eat without guilt, but I am not sure I would make this again.

Kale with Caramelized Onions and Walnuts (I made this one up)

2 large onions, sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
4 small bunches of kale (about 2 lbs), de-stemmed and chopped roughly
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup walnuts, roughly chopped

In a large pan, water saute the sliced onions until soft (about 10 minutes). Continue to cook the onions on low heat, stirring every so often. Eventually the onions will caramelize - it took about 25 minutes for me.

In a large pot, steam the garlic for a few minutes in a little water. Add about 1/4-1/2 cup water and add the kale, gently steaming for about 3-5 minutes. Remove from heat.

Combine the steamed kale and caramelized onions, tossing to combine. Mix in 2 T apple cider vinegar and top with walnuts.

This turned out surprisingly good and was easy to make. Even the non-vegetable eaters had some of this. Will make this one again.

Green Beans Almondine (Dr. Fuhrman)

The recipe can be found here (second one down).

This was a simple recipe green bean recipe that I felt much better making over the usual canned mushroom soup fried onion concoction (I have never made that recipe!). I thought it would taste a bit more "almond-y" but it didn't. I even invested in the $8+ almond oil (found it at Whole Foods) and it didn't taste like almonds. I love green beans so I enjoyed it and I think most people at the table found it acceptable.

Raw Apple Crumble (McDougall newsletter)

This one was getting praise on the forums at Dr. Fuhrman which convinced me to try it. I made it as specified, but doubled the recipe. It made a TON! I covered an entire 9x13" glass pan. I used organic Granny Smith apples and liked that because of their tartness and ablity to hold up. I made this recipe the day before, saving the topping in another container. It held up fine in the fridge.

I think most people were weirded out by the "raw" aspect of the dessert but tried a little. The sugar-holic BF told me it was "too tart" and went for the pumpkin pie. Another relative said it was good and was surprised to hear there was NO sugar in it. It is only sweetened with dates.

I thought it was good, and tasted close to a real apple crumble, but not exactly. :) Still tasted "healthy" to me. But I much rather preferred eating this to the other sweets on the table.

Overall, even though I spent a few hours making all these dishes and they weren't as good as I hoped, I was pleased to have plenty to eat among the deep fried turkey, ribs, potatoes, bread, pumpkin pie, and other traditional dishes that were offered.

140.6

What an experience! The days leading up to the race were a mix of chaos, relaxing, and lots of waiting in line. With well over 2300 athletes preparing to compete at the Ironman on Sunday, there was a lot of energy in Tempe.

I won't bore you with the pre-race details so here is how the actual race went:

swim: I was told to start at the front because I'm a strong swimmer and by starting in the front, I wouldn't have to fight my way through people to pass them. However, I could see all of the men lining up at the front (they wore different colored caps than the women) and that made me nervous since they can be stupidly aggressive. I overheard one guy behind me say he was also told to start at the front because he is a fast swimmer but that he did that last year and STILL got swum over! That pretty much sealed the decision for me. A lot of people also start out way too fast, even though this is not a short distance (2.4 miles). They can't sustain that pace for more than 50 meters and in their excitement and madness, they swim over people.  Happens every time!

I started out in the middle when the gun went off and wasted some time fighting people to pass them as expected. At least I didn't get swum over though! There seemed to be no shortage of bodies and hands grabbing at me. It didn't clear up until almost the turn around buoy. I was feeling that my pacing was okay, but was looking for someone to draft off of. A woman swimmer passed me, and she looked like a good candidate so I stuck to her for a while. It was going pretty well and I could tell we were moving quickly until some kayaks signaled that we were off course and needed to turn right! Oops. I dropped her after that, wanting to navigate on my own. There wasn't much of the course left and I swam into the finish stairs easily. My swim time was just over an hour, which is okay, but I think I could have done just a little better. :)

bike: I started relatively easy since I knew it was going to be a long day. I felt fine the first hour, but shortly after started to have bad stomach cramps. I hadn't felt anything like this before and couldn't figure out how to make them go away. I finally ended up stopping at an aid station to stop cycling and see if they would stop. They didn't. Was my HR too high? I stayed there for almost 10 minutes (my HR definitely dropped by then) but they were still there. I had some food and decided to try spinning easy. I cycled slowly and started getting panicky because I didn't think I could finish 70+ miles feeling like this. I didn't want to pull out at mile 30-something but was feeling that this might be a possibility.

Thankfully, the cramps did eventually go away, but very slowly, and after mile 50! I felt okay for a while, but the cramps came back two more times later, although to a lesser degree. I have a feeling this had to do with my fueling plan (probably not enough calories).

The weather wasn't helpful either. Wind and rain made the conditions tough. But even though this made it harder, I preferred this over blazing heat. By the third loop, I was ready for the bike leg to be over. By then, I was finally feeling okay, which showed in my time, since my last bike loop was the fastest. My final bike leg time was probably 30 minutes longer than it should have been, which I am not pleased about. However, I didn't have to pull out and am glad my stomach finally cooperated!

run: I took my time in T2 to get ready for the run. I started the run off steady but felt surprisingly good! I felt fresh on the first half of the run, and kept having to tell myself to slow down, since I knew I had a long way to go.

I didn't have any "goal run time" in mind, but I did want to see if I could run the entire thing, no matter how slowly. I felt like I was doing well after the first 2 laps (~16 miles), and thought if I could feel as good as I was feeling on those first 2 laps, I'd be doing great! I thought about how the longest run I'd ever done in my life was 14 miles and that I was going to run 12 more than that. It seemed overwhelming so I pushed those thoughts away and just concentrated on getting to the next mile marker.

Around mile 17, the pounding really started to get to me. Most of the course is on concrete and my feet really started to HURT. It was weird because I didn't feel aerobically tired, but my feet really hurt! At one point, I thought I had a rock in my shoe, so I stopped to check my shoe for the rock. I couldn't find one, and accidentally touched my foot and found it must have been a blister. Ouch. I walked a little after that, which was also painful, and now my pace was a very sloooow walking pace. I decided it was going to hurt walking or running so I might as well run and get my pain over with.

Those last 6 miles were tough. I looked at my watch and was motivated that if I kept running, I could finish in less than 14 hours. That seemed like something to shoot for and gave me focus. It looked like I was going to make it once I reached mile 25, even though by this point, I was "running" super slowly! I finally reached the long finish chute and I saw my coach and other friends cheering me on. That was really awesome! My final run time was a little over 5 hours, which I'm happy about because I was able to run mostly the whole thing -- with the exception of walking though the aid stations and when I thought had blisters.

There was no better feeling than crossing that finish line and hearing, "You are an IRONMAN!" I was quite emotional afterward. I did it!

I trained for this, I'm ready

My good friend and coach says you need a mantra to get you through race day. I did the 98% -- I'm ready. I don't have any specific goal time in mind. I didn't want that pressure. I want to finish, and finish feeling as good as one can feel doing an Ironman.

We leave for Arizona today. Bring it!

Dream of Tomato Soup

I've been watching tasty videos from Chef A.J. and Julieanna Hever recently. Their excellent show, The Chef and the Dietitian, features recipes that are fully ETL-compliant and contain no oil, sugar, or salt.



I made their Dream of Tomato Soup tonight for dinner. It was really, really easy and tasted great. I'm still trying to get over my salt addiction and this really did satisfy my salty cravings.

Here is the recipe from the video:

Dream of Tomato Soup

1 lb tomatoes, cut in half
2 red bell peppers, roughly chopped
2-3 cloves garlic
fresh basil
1 lemon, juiced
3-4 sun-dried tomatoes, not in oil
1/2 tsp chipotle powder [I omitted because I didn't have any]
up to 1 cup hemp seeds, or other seeds/nuts (optional)

Blend all ingredients except the seeds in a high powered blender (e.g. Vitamix) until smooth.

Blend the seeds, if using, into the soup to make it creamy.

Makes approximately 6 cups.

I found that without the seeds/nuts, the soup seemed creamy enough and tasted fine. But a little fat increases the absorption of nutrients better, so I added about 1/2 cup of cashews since I didn't have any hemp seeds. This lightened the color and made the soup a little richer.

I used a Vitamix but it didn't heat the soup up enough to steam like in the video. I gently heated my serving after it was done, but it would probably still taste good at room temperature.

You know you're training for Ironman when ...

... your kitchen counter looks like this:

 ... your snack foods resemble this:

... and you look like this every Sunday afternoon!

2 more weeks!

What do you feel like doing?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday. She works with women as a coach and is currently working with a woman who has lost over 120 lbs. In the beginning, it was both overwhelming and difficult to get started. The woman was unmotivated and feeling hopeless. Even though she had been given a plan to help get her started in fitness and healthy eating, she wouldn't follow through with it.

Her: [sigh] I didn't get in the exercise you asked of me.

Coach: Why not?

Her: I don't know, I just didn't feel like doing it.

Coach: Didn't feel like it? Look, you need to take your feelings out of this and just do it. There are lots of things we do everyday that we don't "feel" like doing. It doesn't matter whether you feel like doing it or not. You have to do it.

She's right. We do plenty of things everyday that we don't feel like doing. Who wants to get up early in the morning? Who wants to go to work? Who wants to brush and floss their teeth?? But we do them anyway.

If you took out a sheet of paper and divided it in half, listing on one half the things you felt like doing and on the other, the things you didn't feel like doing, what would it look like? Sadly, I think most of us would have a list where the things you didn't feel like doing far outweighed the things you did. But we still keep doing that which we don't want to do. Why? Because it's life! Because of some future pay-off. Because my future self wants that healthy, lean body. Because she wants a paycheck. And because she wants gleaming teeth. :)

That Crazy Girl on the Treadmill

That would be me. This morning. 5 am. Did you see me there? I was the one running non-stop. People came by and joined in, doing their walk/run, but then they left. Rounds of people came. And they looked over at me. With the water bottles, discarded gels, and drenched towel. Step, step, step... focus, focus, focus.

TWO HOURS. Two hours!!! The treadmill doesn't even allow you to go that long. The LED display only has enough digits for 99 minutes so at that point, it turned off and I had to reset it to start again.

I felt surprisingly good. There might be something to this theory that eating more during training will help you perform better. I managed to get down 2 gels and 1 bottle of the Powerbar drink. It started tasting nauseatingly sweet near the end and I had to chase it with some water afterward though. My fellow triathlete friend D (who is very fast BTW) says she would have tried to get down 3 gels, but this was pretty good for me.

I could barely walk after I was done. Just think, by this point in the race, I'd already have swam 2.4 miles and biked 112 miles. And I'd STILL have to run 13 more miles! YIKES.

Practicing race fueling

I haven't been ETL-ing as well as I would like. About a month ago, I had a discussion with my triathlon coach and some of the others in group also doing IM next month. The coach stressed the importance of fueling properly. He said that the more we eat while we race, the better we'll do. He gave us a formula to calculate how many calories to try to get per hour during the race. It worked out to about 200 calories/hour for me. 200 calories! That seems like a lot. I barely get 200 calories in 1.5-2 hours of training. I've always had stomach sensitivty and distress during races too (which rarely happens in training) so I'm a little worried about trying to eat so much in such a short period of time plus with stuff I'm not used to.

The coach also told us not to rely on our "special needs" bag since anything could happen and there is a possibility we won't have access to it. So although this doesn't jive with ETL, I've decided to try training with the stuff that will be used on the course - namely, Powerbar products. This way, I won't have to rely on my special needs bag and won't have to carry a bunch of special items with me. I can just grab what is at the aid stations because that is what will be there.

I purchased a few boxes of Powerbar gels and the powdered drink they'll have available. I refuse to do the bars because (1) I don't do solids well while racing and (2) they contain HFCS.

I hope my body tolerates this junk.

I want my girlfriend back.

Those words were uttered last week by the Boy as I dashed off to yet another early morning training session. I received a new schedule from my coach and now comes the loooooooooong stuff. This weekend I will do my first 5 hour training ride followed by a run, and then on Sunday, an hour swim followed by a 2 hour strength interval bike ride. Tomorrow morning is my first "long-ish" 2 hour run. This is after we ran hard today at the group track workout.

But as my friend K told me today,

Suffer now, suffer LESS later.

So true. :) We are both doing IM AZ next month and she has been a real inspiration to me. She coaches beginner triathletes and this is her first Ironman as well. We've been running a lot together, which has been good for me. I'm the "slow" one in the group and usually never have anyone to run with. So I'm stuck most times by myself which is hardly any fun or motivating. She joined the group specifically for IM training back in July and is just about the same speed as I am in running.

During today's run, she said it was too bad she wasn't a faster swimmer or we could try to race with each other the entire time. How great would it be to have someone to run with during the most grueling part -- the marathon -- at the end? Who knows, I think she'll catch me on the bike so maybe there is a chance...

I thought I would have more free time now that my class ended but it looks like I will spending most of it exercising.

The Mt. Whitney Day Hike

Brutal! The trail itself wasn't too difficult -- just LONG -- and the altitude past 12,000 ft affected me. Fatal mistake: not spending enough time to acclimate. We originally had planned on spending 3 nights at Whitney Portal (8200 ft) before starting the hike to acclimate but we were unable to get a campsite for all of those days and had to plan accordingly. BF planned the trip and after having gotten the permit in February for a September hike, found that mostly everything was full in early July when he looked! I didn't realize it was that popular. What we ended up doing instead was staying 1 night in Bishop (4200 ft) because all the hotels in Lone Pine and Independence were full and spending one night at Whitney Portal. In reality, we got to Whitney Portal in the late afternoon and since we planned on starting the hike in the early morning, we really only spent about 12 hours at 8200 ft.

NOT ENOUGH.

After we picked up our permits and checked into the campsite, we were informed that there was "high bear activity." The ranger told us that we were not allowed to open our bear lockers after dark and that we needed to store anything scented in there (food obviously, but also cosmetics, and even dirty laundry). She said that some bears had been following hikers and that if you set your pack down, a bear might steal it since they associate them with food. There was even a report of a bear growling at a few hikers. Yikes! I was really nervous about this, especially since we would have to grab our packs and food in the dark before the hike at 3 am.

We woke up at 3 am and started hiking by 4 am. The weather was mostly pleasant throughout the hike, ranging from 40-50 degrees. We used headlamps and started at an easy pace. I thought 4 am was early but glancing up, we could see scattered groups of flickering lights along the side of the mountain. I later heard some people had started at midnight! The first two hours in the dark were uneventful... one foot in front of the other... we barely spoke to each other and the sound of footsteps became meditative. By the time we reached Outpost Camp (10,400 ft) the sun had risen and we could see our surroundings. We are slow hikers and were passed by many. I already started feeling the high altitude towards Trail Camp (12,000 ft) which is only the halfway point (6 miles in). We had planned on refilling our camelbaks at Trail Camp using an advanced water purifier. Some advanced system... it didn't work! BF had tried it back home and it did, but we tried it at least a good 5 times before giving up. At this point, I was already thinking, "Oh well, no water... I guess we can't continue on..." Hah.

Luckily (or unluckily for me), some nice hikers let us borrow their water pump and we were able to get 2 more liters of water. Next up, were the "97 switchbacks" to the Trail Crest. Everyone had told me these were horrible, but they were surprisingly not as bad as I thought they would be. I ended up counting them, which I liked, as it gave me something to focus on and break up the work in chunks (just like in swimming!).

I had been having some negative thoughts up to this point, and later told BF that I would have been perfectly fine with turning around earlier and having to face everyone saying that we didn't summit. That is how bad I was feeling. But when we got to the Muir Trail junction and a hiker who had come from the summit told me, "Almost there! Just 2 miles to go!", I felt renewed. 2 more miles? Who can't walk 2 more miles?! That's nothing! Worse case scenario - it will take us 2 hours.

Oh how wrong I was.

Those last 2 miles to the summit were miserable. Parts of the terrain were rough - boulders and loose gravel - which just made for slow travel. The altitude started to affect me a lot by this time and I had to take frequent breaks. I had a pounding headache and was starting to feel a little nauseous.

We finally reached the summit at 2:30 pm (told ya I was slow!) and checked out the impressive view. We ate a bit, signed the register, took some photos, and then started the 11-mile hike back to Whitney Portal.

I already knew we'd be hiking in the dark again but I had no idea it would take us as long as it did. By the time we hit Trail Camp (halfway down), it was almost 7 pm and the sun was starting to set. Shortly after, it was dark again and we were back to using our headlamps. Mine started fading (I think the battery was dying) which meant I now had to walk in front so BF could help shine light for me.

By this time we were tired and cranky. In retrospect, it would have been nice to look at the stars and soak it in, but I wanted to be finished as soon as I could. My feet were achy and my headache hadn't gone away. There were other hikers on the trail still which was comforting at least and we even passed a couple going UP around 9 pm! Maybe they were trying to reach the summit for sunrise?

We finally, FINALLY!, reached the trailhead at Whitney Portal around 10:30 pm. What a grueling, long day! That was the longest hike I've ever done to date in time (18.5 hrs), distance (22 miles), and elevation (14,500 ft). It took us all of 10 minutes to change and jump into the tent for a snore-fest. Although I'm glad I did it, and I suppose it is some kind of "accomplishment", I feel that is one hike I will never need to do again. :)

Hiking and Camping ETL-Style

I ended up packing too much food for the 4 day trip, but I didn't want to be hungry and cave into SAD food, so I was prepared! As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had been borrowing a friend's dehydrator to make travel-friendly camping food. As far as the dehydrator goodies went, it was a success all around! I did a lot of experimenting and attempted dehydrating lots of vegetables. This is what I tried:

vegetable	instructions	notes
green beans	Dumped a bag of frozen green beans on the trays	crunchy! I like them on their own but they might be good with some garlic or other spices mixed in.
peas	They were too small to fit on the trays (they'd fall through) so I put foil over the trays and then poked small holes in the foil to allow the air to flow through. Used petite frozen peas from Trader Joe's with zero seasoning.	Tasted as expected - like dried peas!
red and yellow peppers	Sliced red and yellow peppers into thin strips, then put them in the dehydrator plain	Crunchy and tasty! Good on its own without seasoning if you like eating sweet peppers plain (I do)
onions	Diced an entire yellow onion and put the pieces onto the trays directly	It made the house smell nice (if you like onion!) but I wouldn't do this one again. I realized later I can easily buy dried onion at the bargain stores for cheap so it's not worth the effort.
kale	De-stemed and roughly cut without seasoning	Didn't make these for snacking but for soup mixes so I didn't try them plain

I ran out of time, but I had also wanted to try carrots, tomatoes, and beans. In the end, I used the dried vegetables to make my own soup mixes. These are the two I made:

Soup Mix 1

• dehydrated onion (can also use dried)
• garlic powder
• kale (crush and crumble with hands)
• dried sliced shiitake mushrooms from Asian market
• zucchini chips
• dehydrated peas
• spice mix from Penzey's

Soup Mix 2

• kale chips (curry-flavored)
• sundried tomatoes, chopped
• garlic powder
• dehydrated peppers, cut into smaller pieces with scissors
• zucchini chips

They were both great! The curry flavoring on the kale chips was enough to flavor the rest of the mix in the second soup mix. When it came time to eat, I used a Jetboil to make hot water, added the water to some of the mixture, and let it sit for a few minutes. It was great comfort food.

I also brought an array of other things to supplement the dried stuff:

canned no-salt beans, apples, bananas, homemade larabars, nuts and seeds, dried figs, zucchini chips, bag of frozen vegetables, roasted garbanzo beans, baby carrots

We stayed in a hotel the first night, which had a microwave and fridge, so I had a dinner meal of frozen vegetables and beans. BF had Jack in the Box. On the trail, I consumed homemade larabars, figs, brazil nuts, and roasted garbanzo beans. I didn't take any dried vegetables with me and think that was wise because since I was burning so many calories, I need to replenish them quickly, and eating the massive amounts of vegetables necessary to get that many calories would have taken a really long time. We're already slow hikers and didn't want to take longer breaks than we needed. The other meals (in the car) and at camp were the soup mixes, combined with some baby carrots, canned beans, nuts or seeds, and an apple. Surprisingly, I didn't feel as hungry as I thought I would (all the fiber?) and was able to stop eating with what seemed like very little food (and I was satisfied!).

I'm happy with how I did on the camping trip. In the past, I've caved and claimed it was "too hard" to eat this way on the road but it wasn't really a problem this time. Even with my SAD-eating BF eating fast food for almost all of his meals! With a little extra prep and planning, even I was able to stay true to ETL (so you can too :) ).

Not Your SAD Potato Chips

As an alternative to potato chips, I tried making different vegetable chips in the dehydrator.

First up: Zucchini Chips

I sliced up zucchini using a mandoline and put them in plain into the dehydrator. Incredibly easy! It took all of 10 minutes from start to finish for 4 zucchinis and 6 trays worth (about 6 small snack bags). They don't need any flavoring because when dried, they have a naturally salty taste.

I put these in before going to sleep and let the dehydrator run overnight. By morning, they were dried, crispy, and yummy! It's no potato chip but it's a nice alternative. At least I can eat them guilt-free. :)

Next up: Kale Chips

I've made kale chips before using the oven, but this one from BeStrixed using a curry-flavored sauce intrigued me. It was a little more involved since the dressing had to be made (10 minutes), plus the kale had to be prepped (washed, de-stemed, chopped) (10 minutes), and then dressed (5 minutes). 10 + 10 + 5 = 25 minutes of prep time.

My dressing came out fairly thick and I didn't have a large enough container to mix the entire 12 ounces of kale with it, so I ended up mixing the dressing with my hands in batches of kale, which is probably why it took longer.

These were messier in the dehydrator and I did these overnight again (they were ready by morning). They were delicious! Better than a greasy, overly-salted potato chip! And a great way to get in some extra greens...

Notes: I couldn't find dino kale at the market that day and ended up using regular curly kale... which seemed to make the dressing a bit harder to cover - all those curls! I also found the resulting "chip" quite delicate and since dino kale leaves are typically thicker, they probably would hold up better.

I also ended up with a bit more dressing than kale when I was finished, so I bought some collards to try instead of the kale since the leaves tend to be thicker. Still delicious!

Preparing for Whitney

In less than a week from now, I'll be attempting to climb Mt. Whitney. It will be grueling, judging from the way I've done on all two of the practice hikes I've finished. I've discovered I am a slow hiker. Besides the hikes, I haven't been doing anything special to train for it, except for of course, the background training I'm doing for Ironman. The Boy suggested I make friends with Mr. Stairmaster but I barely have enough time to juggle everything else so it didn't get done. I'm not so worried that I won't be in good enough physical shape to do it though. I'm more concerned about the altitude. I've never been up that high before and have no idea how it will affect me. The highest training hike we did was Mt. San Gorgonio which was "only" 11,5K ft -- certainly not 14.5K!

Because we'll have to camp for a couple of days before the hike, I've been tinkering with food to bring. I borrowed a friend's dehydrator for the projects and have been trying to dehydrate all kinds of vegetables. My plan is to make some kind of dried soup mix that I can add hot water to and have for meals. I suppose I could bring canned soups, but those are usually filled with salt and never have enough greens in them. These dried soup mixes will also be very light which is a plus while camping, even though we won't have to carry our meals with us since we'll be attempting to do the entire hike in one day.

Other things I'm thinking of bringing on the actual hike include:

• dried fruit (figs, raisins)
• nuts and seeds (raw almonds, cashews, sunflower seeds)
• homemade "larabars"
• roasted chickpeas
• baby carrots

I noticed I easily tired of eating sweet items on the previous hikes so I'm trying some savory things to mix it up. I'm also trying to stay away from commercially processed "energy" and granola bars. So many of them contain soy isolate protein, including my favorites (Clif bars). Oh well, that's why I make my own!

Truth in Numbers

I weighed in finally yesterday morning: 121.0 lbs. That is certainly more than when I was doing well so the frequent indulgences and lack of caring is showing itself. A great quote I read somewhere said that your body is the result of the decisions you made in the past. Likewise, the body you have in the future is the one based on decisions you make now.

Upping the Goal

I forgot to report my DirectLife status for the week. Because the DL website asked me whether I wanted to increase my goal since I was consistently meeting it every week, I said, surrrrrrrre, why not? Now my ultimate goal is 1273+ cals/day, which according to my coach, would put me at a level 6. That seems awfully high but why not aim big? I figure I am burning on average 700-800 cals/day in exercise (sometimes way less, sometimes a lot more though) which would mean I would have to work for the additional calories burned.

This was the first week that I had the higher goal (1108 cal) and also the first week I didn't meet it. I got to 99% this week and was just shy of it. Boo. I hate not meeting goals! So obviously I will try harder this week. :)

I have a feature on my workout watch that lets you set an event timer (counts down to a specific date). Since IM is really my goal, I put it in a few months ago. I just looked at it yesterday and it said: 75. 75 days until Ironman! That kind of freaked me out. I am not feeling any more ready, mostly because the big volume increases haven't started yet.

Also, I am definitely NOT where I want to be weight-wise for this race. I really need to lean down for this and losing these last 10 lbs would help SO much. It irritates me to no end that I've been trying to do this for so long. I just want this to be done and over with so I can stop obsessing and feeling bad about my weight. It's time to get serious and just DO IT. I "do it" with everything else -- especially exercise -- I can't see why this should be any different!

I picked up some batteries for my scale so I'll finally know the damage (or not?) when I weigh in. That's right - time to weigh in, stick to the plan, and finish this.

I should catch you up

It's been a while since I posted anything. Between work, increased training, and now this evening class (that includes a surprising amount of homework!), I barely have time to do much but log onto PT and report my food and exercise.

So let's see... when we last left off, I was going through the assessment period with the Philips DirectLife activity monitor. I was assessed at a Level 3. This equated to "Elizabeth", who is moderately active and plays tennis for an hour twice a week. I thought the monitor grossly underestimated my activity. Vigorous exercise for 1 hour twice a week?? In reality, I'm doing about 14.5 hours per week of exercise with maybe 30% of that being high intensity.

Based on that information, the goal set for me was to increase my daily activity rate to 975 calories/day in 12 weeks. I will gradually increase the calories burned weekly. I'm 2 weeks into the program now and the first week's target was to burn 829 calories/day and the second week's target was to burn 843 calories/day.

Week 1 I burned on average 995 calories/day which was 122% of my target and week 2 I burned 1124 calories/day which equalled 136% of my target.

Hah.

It's not much of a goal if I've already surpassed the 975 calories "ultimate goal" in the first 2 weeks! It hasn't been too difficult to make the daily calorie goals. Though I don't always meet it, I end up burning huge amounts on longer training days which makes up for it since they take the average over a 1-week period. I admit that carrying the monitor around is somewhat motivating. I take it out at various times in the day to check my progress. However, since I know I won't have any problems meeting my quota for the week, I'm not particularly motivated to increase my daily activities, which I think is the point of the program.

I corresponded with my DirectLife coach, Erin, via email. I discussed my goals (Ironman + lose 10 lbs) but she didn't seem much help there. The coaches don't provide any nutritional or even weight-loss specific advice. They are just there to provide suggestions to increase your daily activities. I am mildly disappointed.

Now if I could find a similar device that works with monitoring food intake instead, I'd be set...

Accountability Tenfold

Peertrainer is a daily accountability website used for diet and exercise. They have just launched a "Spotlight", which is a team of 16 members who support each other and agree to have their logs viewable to everyone. This particular Spotlight is sponsored by Philips, who is promoting their new DirectLife fitness coaching system. The DirectLife system consists of a small device you add to a necklace, belt, or pocket and wear everyday. The device connects to your computer where you can periodically upload your data to a website which will gather your activity data.

What makes this sponsored spotlight unique is that not only will the other team members support and hold one another accountable, but Philips will provide real coaches from DirectLife that will also review their activity and offer feedback. Accountability is a powerful motivator. When you know that people are watching your food and exercise log, it (usually) changes your behavior in a positive way.

Why am I telling you about the Philips Peertrainer Spotlight?

Because I was lucky enough to be chosen as one of the participants!

We received the Philips monitor in the mail last week and I set mine up the other day. The first week is the "assessment period" where you're supposed to wear the monitor with you at all times. It magically calculates your movement and by the end of the assessment period, you're supposed to be given a plan used to get you to your goals.

I am on day 3 of the assessment. Now I hardly notice that I'm wearing the monitor, but initially I was confused on the proper placement. I have it set for "pocket" which means I'm placing it in my pocket, but I don't always have pockets on me when I swim, bike, or run. I emailed the support team at Philips and they responded promptly (a definite plus) and said I could put it in my sock while biking. Not sure how that will work but I'll try it this weekend.

You can view my log and follow me on Peertrainer here. I'm lacia.

Down But Not Out

I fell off the wagon these past couple of days. I don't make good choices when I'm sleep-deprived, but I really should have been SLEEPING instead of EATING. Nothing to do but pick myself up back again. I don't need to go into the gory details and beat myself up but just get on with it.

I want to get to the place where I am constantly choosing nutritarian foods over SAD. Although I do love nutritarian food, I crave SAD foods also. So many long time nutritarians talk about never going back to SAD because they honestly don't like that food anymore. That's where I want to be.

I think part of my problem is I still have one foot in both worlds. Emily talked about this at the Getaway and emphasized that it's easier to fully commit and have both feet in the nutritarian world. Otherwise you are doing all the work but not getting the results. This really resonated with me. I am doing the work. But I still have a foot in the SAD-world. I won't be able to fully lose my taste for those disease-promoting foods until I completely abstain. I have to commit.

No surprises

I've started to take an evening class and so far, the schedule is killing me.  It's from 6-9 pm Monday evenings and I go there straight from work.  Since I wake up at 5 am most days, it ends up being a looooong day.  No time to report Beck progress today, but I did want to post a weigh-in: 119.6 lbs. 

Same as last week. Oh well...

Beck - Day 24: Deal with Discouragement

Beck's topic for today is how to keep the momentum going. She talks about how in the beginning of any diet, motivation is usually high but at some point, it begins to get harder. At some point, you will feel overwhelmed and discouraged -- which is perfectly normal, she emphasizes! She reminds you that you always have a choice and says that dieting does get easier (it does?). To help deal with discouragement, she suggests the following:

1. Read your Advantages Response Card more often. Really?? I feel like I already read this enough... I know all of the advantages I listed by now, in the exact order they're in. But maybe I need to re-write the card.
2. Add up the difficult hours. This is interesting. Beck points out that most people say that they've had a hard week or tough day but if they really sat down to think about how much time they actually struggled for, it wouldn't be that long. It's probably as little as 20 minutes and a couple of hours once or twice during the week! I'll have to remember this when I complain about my impossible day.
3. Focus on what you can do today. This is supposed to help from feeling overwhelmed. Instead of stressing out about the future, just focus on today, each meal, each choice.

The to-do list:

I am having a pretty good day today so far. The only thing on my checklist I didn't do was monitoring everything I ate in writing after I finished eating. Somehow I forget to do this more on the weekends. I think I need to put my notebook with my food plan where I eat so I can automatically check off the items after the meal.

I wasn't looking forward to riding 60 miles by myself this morning (it's going to be soooooo boring) but just said, "Oh well..." and did it. And surprisingly, it wasn't too bad. I also didn't want to run afterward, but used the same technique. AND I gave myself credit for doing so!

One good choice begets another... I am finding if I make the good choice of eating healthy foods, I'll automatically want to continue with the next meal. There is something about not breaking a streak with me.

I read my Advantages Response Card, NO CHOICE card, and It's Not Okay and Get Back on Track Response Cards at least twice.

I read other Response Cards as needed.

I ate slowly, sitting down and noticing every bite: Every Time

I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful dieting behaviors: Every Time

I did spontaneous exercise: Once or twice

I did planned exercise.

I wrote out a food plan for tomorrow.

I monitored everything I ate in writing right after I finished eating.

I worked toward accepting what I have to do to lose weight (Oh, well).

I prepared for feeling overwhelmed and discouraged.

Beck - Day 23: Counter the Unfairness Syndrome

Today is another exercise in dealing with feelings of unfairness. Beck discusses how many dieters give themselves permission to eat unplanned food when faced with the sense of unfairness. She emphasizes that life isn't fair and it's important not to dwell on this negative thought and move on. She also offers some excellent tips to change your perspective:

1. Remind yourself why you decided to diet in the first place. This style of eating is always my choice and eating the ETL-way enables me to eat the healthiest food for my body. I might not FEEL like eating this way when I see other temptations around, but I have to remind myself that this way of eating will reward me more than any Girl Scout cookie could.
2. Make a mental list of the advantages in your life. When I compare my situation with so many others, I am really blessed. How lucky am I to have access to an abundance of fruits and vegetables when so many others in the world are starving. How lucky am I to even have the freedom to live the kind of life I want. Wow, this really does help me put fairness into perspective.
3. Create a response card. I copied the one from the book to read when I start feeling like this.

The to-do list:

It was pretty easy today since I had to work a ton of hours which surprisingly kept me busy and not busy eating in a recreational way. Since I had prepared food earlier this week, I already had my healthy meals ready for me at work.

I read my Advantages Response Card, NO CHOICE card, and It's Not Okay and Get Back on Track Response Cards at least twice.

I read other Response Cards as needed.

I ate slowly, sitting down and noticing every bite: Every Time

I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful dieting behaviors: Every Time

I did spontaneous exercise: Most Times

I did planned exercise.

I monitored everything I ate in writing.

I wrote out a food plan for tomorrow.

I worked toward accepting what I have to do to lose weight (Oh, well).

I created a Response Card to deal with the issue of unfairness.

Beck - Day 22: Say Oh Well to Disappointment

Today deals with disappointment. Beck suggests just saying "Oh well" when faced with something you don't like. The idea is that saying that simple phrase helps you to move on and accept it. It may not mean that you like it, but you're going to move on and stop wasting energy dwelling over it.

Yes, dieting can be difficult and some people have it easier than others, but oh well, this is what I have to do to reach my goals so I'm going to accept it and continue.

I'm going to try to write out the checklists she puts at the end of each day to ensure I'm actually completing all of the tasks for the day.

Today was not great, but now knowing I'll be putting these up, you can bet I'll be trying harder:

I read my Advantages Response Card, NO CHOICE card, and It's Not Okay and Get Back on Track Response Cards at least twice.

I ate slowly, sitting down and noticing every bite: Every Time

I gave myself credit when I engaged in helpful dieting behaviors: sometimes

I did spontaneous exercise: Yes

I did planned exercise. I skipped my weights workout today since I had to work late

I monitored everything I ate in writing.

I wrote out a food plan for tomorrow.

I said, "Oh, well" (I don't like this, but I'm going to accept it and move on), when I wanted something I couldn't have.

I weighed myself, recorded the results on my weight-loss graph, and reported my change in weight to my diet coach (PeerTrainer).

Vacation poundage gone - and a recap!

One week (mostly) back on plan and this morning's weigh-in looked better: 119.6 lbs. Still have more before I get to Dr. Fuhrman's "ideal weight" and these last will be tough, but I'll get there.

I had planned on being back to regular blogging last week but it's been go-go-go! lately for me. One of my team members left for vacation last week and my manager left this week so now it's just 2 of us left to fend for ourselves on my work project. I also started taking an evening class last week that is going to be taking up time (stupid homework!). But the most exciting thing that happened was that I was able to attend Dr. Fuhrman's Getaway last week for one day. It was really inspirational and motivating! One of the lectures he gave on Food Addictions and Weight Loss is available online for viewing at: http://www.drfuhrman.com/live/. Highly recommended!

Beck - Day 21: Get Ready To Weigh In

Back to Beck with seriousness. I feel renewed and ready to get down to business.

Where we last left off, I was at Day 20. Day 21 talks about stepping on the scale and finding out how I did "last week." Seeing how I took a break and went on vacation, this isn't exactly representative of my Beck skills.

However, the point is to realize how important weighing in is, as a motivator and honest assessment of what is working and what isn't. Beck also makes a point of not wasting time getting upset if the scale does not show a number you like and emphasizing that you wouldn't view a friend less worthy or as a failure if she gained weight. She also has you construct a graph (with a 5 lb goal in mind) to track progress.

So I weighed myself (120.6 lbs), but I realize this week's weigh-in is not too accurate. I'll expect next week's to be more accurate.

Refreshed and renewed

I had a fabulous time in Hawaii.  I didn't overeat, but I didn't stay entirely true to ETL.  I expected this, so I'm okay with it.  I did manage to eat some very delicious vegan meals though:

fresh coconut!

I drank the coconut water inside and then a child who couldn't have been older than 12 whipped out a machete and went to town on it, scraping out the meat to eat.

vegan tofu wrap (tofu, brown rice, vegetables) - this was probably my fave lunch on the island

I also managed to cook a few times in our condo so I had plenty of veggies and beans.

The last day, I made an orange-pineapple-banana smoothie from fresh fruits I picked up.  The blender was no Vitamix but it did the job. 

Kauai is awesome for hiking and this we did do!  We managed to fit in part of the Kalalau Trail (to Hanakapiai Falls), 8 miles RT, the "Sleeping Giant" hike (4 miles RT), and the Nualolo-Awaawapuhi loop (11 miles).

I checked this morning and I gained... but only 1/2 pound!

It'll be gone before the week is out.

Taking a brief respite

I haven't been progressing with Beck as I should be because last week I was focused on a triathlon I did over the weekend and next week I'll be on vacation. So because I feel that my Beck skills could use some honing (can anyone say "Make time for dieting"?) I am going to focus this week on improving my skills, enjoy myself on vacation next week, and hit it full force when I return.

I'm not saying I will be giving myself a free pass to let myself eat whatever I want and overeat while on vacation. I just won't be able to sit at a computer, log food, and give the program my attention like I would back home. I fully expect to come back from vacation the same weight when I return.

Beck - Day 20: Get Back On Track

How ironic, since yesterday I was decidedly OFF-track. I am having a hard time staying motivated. I go through what seems like motivation spurts... super duper motivated for days -- usually a week -- and then the next week, I want to give up. I'm not sure why but I've noticed this distinctly this month. First week of June was great and on track. Second week not so much. Third week was strict and back on track (until Sunday) and now I'm feeling less motivated again. What gives?

Yes, I'm reading all the reasons I'm doing this and I know all of the health reasons for doing so as well, but I really want to eat SAD food. I keep thinking about it. Even though I know how horrible it is for me. And even though I love eating this way too.

So yesterday I struggled and ate pretty well for most of the day, including dinner, but blew it in the last couple of hours before bed.

Since today's task is to get back on track, that's what I'm going to do.... whether I want to or not. So far, I haven't been very hungry. I couldn't eat breakfast even after my morning workout because I was still bloated and full from last night. I went to the gym again at lunch and even after that, I wasn't very hungry. I finally ate a small salad around 2 pm and felt normal hunger around dinner time.

And now I'm going to give myself credit for getting back on track and making my "get back on track" response card.

I still have to figure out this motivation problem...

Beck - Day 19: Stop Fooling Yourself

I had a jam-packed weekend and was home for just enough time to shower and get ready for the next thing before heading out again. No time to do any Beck. Ironically, I probably could have used the skill highlighted in today's task throughout the weekend! I got off track and now it's time to get back on. No guilt, just moving on so this doesn't become a streak of off-track meals or days.

Today's task is to answer back to the voice of temptation. It's that little voice inside you that reasons, "It's okay to eat this [off-plan food] because ... " Lots of seemingly logical reasons are listed but the ones that I use the most are:

• it's a special occasion
• it'll go to waste
• it's just this one time
• I'm upset/happy/angry/lonely/tired

I "fool myself" all the time so this is something that needs a lot of work. Every time I think I can eat something not on my food plan, I need to read the response card I just wrote ("It's not okay to eat this food because...").

I think this may have actually helped today. I'm not feeling particularly motivated since I was so off-track yesterday and was having feelings of "What's the point? I might as well give up now." I even went so far as to get some unplanned food out with the intention of eating it and starting a binge right there.

But I didn't.

I thought about how I was just fooling myself and that I needed to step away and strengthen my resistance muscle.

Whew, that was close.

Beck - Day 18: Change Your Definition of Full

Building on the skills from the last few days, today's task is to monitor your fullness and stop before overeating and feeling overly full. This is good timing for me since this is something I struggle with. It's interesting that infants intrinsically know when to stop eating and will refuse food when they're full. When did I lose the ability to do that? At some point, eating to the point of feeling stuffed was "normal." It was comforting and felt right.

The great thing about ETL is that I'm finding this is an easier skill to master. I'm not sure why, but it seems easier for me to recognize when I am satisfied on ETL food. Perhaps because the food doesn't contain the addictive qualities of sugar, fat and salt? I admit that I still go into a small panic though. It is odd to be getting full on what seems like not very much food at all. I haven't tallied the calories, but I can't imagine there are much in a large salad of raw vegetables and dressing (ETL-friendly).

Another good day down!

Beck - Day 17: End Overeating

Today's task is to leave some extra food on your plate that is not on your daily food plan and eat your food while leaving the extra food untouched. Sounds easy enough right? This is for the clean plate eaters who were raised to always finish all of the food on their plates. I know I'm guilty of this. I can remember being reminded constantly of the "starving people" in some country to get me to finish my food. I've gotten better at this over the years though it is something I do have to still think about. I find that a lot of the time, the food tastes so good that I want to keep eating, despite being satisfied.

I practiced this skill today at lunch by overloading my bowl with additional cherries that I planned on eating. There were 5 additional ones that I wasn't supposed to eat. I didn't think this was going to be difficult, but it was interesting to observe the mental thoughts that raced through my brain:

These cherries are sooooo good. I want to keep eating them.

There are only a few more left, I should just finish them off.

Stop staring at me delicious cherries!

I left them on my desk for a while before putting them away and of course, giving myself credit.

I practiced this today at dinner as well, by serving myself some extra food and putting the rest away when I felt satisfied. This is a skill I've only recently begun to exercise. I'm so used to shoving food in my mouth. But it really helps to pause and ask myself what my hunger level is.

Beck - Day 16: Prevent Unplanned Eating

Today I'm to write a NO CHOICE response card (done!) and firmly make it a rule to NOT deviate from my food plan (written out last night). We make rules in all areas of our lives (e.g. "I will brush my teeth every day") and the idea is to make sticking to the food plan a "rule." This is supposed to take the internal struggle away from contemplating eating something off the food plan. How many times do you struggle with yourself over whether or not to eat something??

I find myself doing this often, and the struggle was in full force today. The period between 3 pm and 7 pm was especially difficult. I had to read the "NO CHOICE" card at least 3 times! But it did make it easier. I went shopping at the market after work and where usually I would fight with myself over whether or not to buy a little "snack" for the road or something I shouldn't be letting into the house, I just told myself "NO CHOICE" and moved on.

NO CHOICE.
"Stick to the plan. No matter how you feel. No matter what. No excuses."

Beck - Day 15: Monitor Your Eating

Today's task is to have your food plan written the day before and monitor your food as you eat it. You're supposed to check off the items you ate and write down any unplanned items, circling them for emphasis. This is supposed to happen right after you've eaten, since it is not unusual for people to under report the food they eat. It's easy to forget the bites of your child's food, samples, etc.

This was an easy task for me today and I didn't have any problems. I ended up substituting two items but they were minimal and the calories/nutrients were the same anyway. I think I'm supposed to continue to do this though and I'm not sure for how long...?

Also, it still amazes me how much easier it is to stop eating when I'm satisfied if I'm eating ETL nutrient-rich food. I'm also finding I am getting fuller faster on what seems like not much food.

Did I just jinx myself?

I wrote that optimistic post last week and then proceeded to have a very bad week where I fell short on my goals.

I think it's time for me to start writing about my progress with Beck. I was trying not to move past a day unless I had mastered the skill for the day, but I find that I'm procrastinating. And, although the first week in June went well, last week was anything but. I knew what I needed to do but was having a hard time staying motivated. I was rebelling and not doing a very good job of keeping myself motivated and talking back to the negative thoughts. I need to get back on track.

Day 14 is about writing down your food plan for the day. I am doing this using a handy iPhone app called Lose It. I like it because I can easily enter meals from the previous day. Since I eat a lot of the same things days in a row, this makes entering food fast. The only thing I don't like about the app (so far) is the lack of options when entering in food. I can look up black beans for example, but the measurements are in 1/4 cup increments. I would prefer they offered the ability to enter in other units, such as ounces or grams. My Net Diary has that feature but I'm so attached to the "previous meals" option that it hasn't been enough to get me to switch over.

I wrote my food plan for today and tomorrow out. It's pretty easy doing ETL. Breakfast? Green smoothie. Lunch? Salad with beans +/- fruit. Dinner? Salad +/- cooked vegetables +/- fruit/sorbet

I'm trying to keep things as simple as possible now.

Oh, and a weigh in

I weighed in this morning at 118.4 lbs. I'm not sure that I quite believe it and am going to continue weighing daily to see if the number sticks around.

Unfortunately, the body fat number is still quite high.

Something is working

I haven't been posting regularly but am surprisingly doing very well. So well that I'm getting nervous.

After a big holiday weekend filled with social events and two nights of bingeing, I decided on June 1st I was going to kick this awful habit once and for all. That's my #1 goal for the month of June.

It's June 7th and I'm 7 days into being binge-free. I haven't made it past 10 days in a very, VERY long time.

I am still working through the Beck book, but am taking it at a much slower pace. Sometimes I don't have the time to read the next day's assignment and I also want to feel that I've mastered the concepts of the current day before moving on. I am probably at day 13. But a very successful Day 13. I am reading my ARC 2x/day, giving myself credit, and trying to talk back to those negative thoughts as much as possible. I am working on mastering distinguishing between the desire to eat and truly being hungry and using the behavioral techniques to combat cravings.

I think it's working.

On track

I had a slight slip up on Sunday and Monday night but I didn't let it derail me and I'm back on track. I felt bloated and "off" today from the high intake of salt.

Still doing Beck, although I haven't been detailing the steps here. I've been through these initial steps before so I didn't want to repeat my thoughts. I'll probably start soon though, just as a form of reinforcement.

The coach sent out an interesting email yesterday and then reiterated some of the points today after the workout. It was essentially about how (triathletes) look for answers in the wrong places. They look for external things that they can change easily: a different coach, different bike fit, lighter bike, new gadgets ... but those things are only 10% or less of the equation. It's what we do everyday that really counts. It's putting in the quality workouts, eating a proper diet, getting enough sleep and keeping our stress levels down. That's what will really produce results.

His talk resonated with me because I know I've been there before. I neglect the daily things (especially sleep!) and think about how getting a new bike will make me faster. But I really need to put the time into myself first.

Just Say No

Five days into Beck and I'm already feeling better. I'm using it in conjunction with ETL and so far, I've been able to talk back to those negative thoughts. Yesterday I did a club race which is always fun but they also always have TONS of food afterward. Not just any food either... it's loads of gourmet pizzas, pasta dishes, and salads from yummy local restaurant. Usually one of the members brings some homemade desserts as well. I can usually resist store-bought desserts (I'm a food snob, ok?) but homemade dessert? It's tough to resist temptation when it is sitting right in front of you.

But I did the race, packed up, and left immediately so I wouldn't be tempted to eat anything. Luckily I wasn't very hungry anyway and I just made myself a healthy dinner when I got home. Today I went to the usual bagel shop with some swim buddies and also managed not to have any bagels. At lunch time today, I skipped the usual pizza (my company always goes out for pizza -- on the company dollar -- on Fridays) AND resisted an invite from coworkers to join them at a nearby sandwich shop.

And then at 5 pm, when I started feeling genuinely hungry, I resisted eating and buying junk food while at the market, even though it meant making dinner at 7:30 and eating at 8 pm.

I am on a roll!

And I'm also giving myself Credit a la Beck. :)

1. green smoothie: 2 oranges, 1/4 lemon, 1 T flax, 8 oz bok choy

2. salad: romaine, baby carrots, 1/2 cup black beans, cucumber, green velvet dressing + 1 banana

3. salad: broccoli, napa cabbage, carrots, sweet pea dressing + fava beans (SO good!) + 1 cup cherries

4. run: 0:45, weights: 0:45

I need HELP.

I keep sabotaging myself. I do a couple of days well and then blow it. When I blow it, it becomes a few days of "blowing it" before I can get back on track. I'm so tired of doing the same thing over and over again. Although I understand it a lot better, I haven't actually solved the problem. I have to get tough. I have to work through my issues.

I've decided to go back to Beck. I was in therapy years ago and cognitive therapy helped get me through the tough situation I was dealing with back then. I believe it can help me now. I tried the Beck plan a couple of years ago when I first read the book but didn't follow through. This time, I am going to DO the exercises, whether I want to or not. I am going to talk back to my sabotaging thoughts.

May 11

My smoothie this morning was bitter and I didn't enjoy it. I wonder if a seed got into the mix. I am feeling much better today and more positive. I was feeling retched Sunday and a little yesterday. I have to remember that I won't be perfect but I can try to do the best I can. This is hard for the perfectionist in me.

I know ETL says "no snacking" but I am having a hard time dealing with the time between lunch and dinner on days that I have a second workout. I typically get hungry around 12-1 pm for lunch but I can't get to the pool until after 6 pm to do the workout, which usually means dinner isn't until 8 pm. I've been having a small snack around 5 pm because of the psychological need but I also wonder if I really need this. 8 hours seems like a long time to go without food and especially when you throw in having to do a workout near the end.

1. green smoothie: 1 large orange, 1 small apple, 1 T flax, 8 oz kale

2. salad: romaine, baby carrots, 1/4 cucumber, 1/2 small avocado, dijon pistachio dressing

3. trail mix

4. salad: spinach, kale, carrots, with green velvet dressing + 2 servings berries/cherries blend

5. bike: 0:50, run: 0:30, swim: 1:00

Weekend Update: Camping

I went camping over the weekend, which was a first for me in many, many years. I was pretty worried about what I'd be able to eat during the trip, especially since I already knew what everyone else was bringing: burgers, sausages, chili (with meat), corn bread, cookies...

I'm pleased to say that I did okay while at the campsite. I brought vegetables to cook, canned beans, chopped salad and fruit. I got some strange looks while eating the chopped salad but I didn't mind. I ended up having some SAD food but it wasn't horrible.

I should have felt good about staying on track (I did) but I have to admit that I messed up shortly after that. On the way back from the campsite, we stopped at a diner-style establishment and had lunch. I don't know what I was thinking but I didn't order well at all.

And then when I got home, it just spiraled downward. I started snacking and eating and eating...

In retrospect, I think I was just TIRED and I was eating to "do something" and stay awake. I was also avoiding doing the chores I had to do because I was tired and didn't have energy. So I ate.

What I should have done is taken a nap and then reassessed when I woke up. Maybe I would have felt more energetic if I had done that. I'm sure I would have at least been thinking clearly.

I'm glad I recognized this (even if after the fact) but today I am feeling physically terrible. I am bloated from the sugar and salt and slightly nauseous. I am not even hungry for food.

May 7

It's way past my bedtime. Just typing this up briefly before I turn in for the night. I did great today. The big challenge was to not overeat AND not eat non-ETL foods at the work potluck today. I mostly succeeded at that. I had a very small piece of fish that one of my coworkers caught locally. But I didn't eat: burgers, pizza (seriously - who brings pizza to a potluck?!), chips, potato salad, deviled eggs, cookies, pie ...

And - I got in my second workout this evening... usually it's tough to get mentally focused to workout Friday night.

1. green smoothie: 1 orange, big handful of strawberries, 8 oz mixed collards and romaine, 1 T flax seed

2. salad: romaine, baby carrots, 1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/2 cucumber, 1/2 small avocado, dijon pistachio dressing + frozen grapes

3. (work potluck): 1-2 oz white sea bass, edamame, (thank goodness for the veggie platter): snap peas, grape tomatoes, baby carrots

4. salad (HUGE): broccoli, cabbage, spinach, carrots with 1/2 serving sweet pea dressing + 1.5 cups pinto beans + 8 oz mixed berries and cherries

5. bike: 1:00, bike: 1:10

Motivating Reason #4

I got side-tracked when my posts disappeared and I want to finish off these motivating reasons... so here is motivating reason #4:

I'll practice what I believe and prove that ETL works.

I have been trying at ETL for about a year and a half now but haven't completely succeeded. I have had hiccups along the way. I am not the epitome of health. I am overweight and weigh more now than I have in any period of my life. I have high cholesterol. I catch colds frequently. I try not to be "preachy" and tell people why I'm eating this way but when those close to me question my motives I can't help but throw a few things out there... how eating animal protein could lead to cancer, that there is ample calcium in vegetables, that dairy is not a health-promoting food...

I am usually met with either denial or disbelief.

That's fine and I'm not trying to convince anyone, but what really gets me are the persistent observations about myself:

• If this is the optimal way to eat then why are you highest weight now?
• Why do you have high cholesterol?
• Why do you get sick so often?

Because I haven't been doing it 100%! Because I have issues with bingeing! But I can't say that. I am working on those issues.

One of the worst incidents was when someone very close to me -- a meat-eating, fast-food lovin' fan -- pointed out that his cholesterol is the same as mine and that his stomach is flatter. Ouch. Clearly, he was skeptical about ETL.

I am going to prove them all wrong. ETL works.

May 5, 6

I was at the Boy's house last night and got back too late to log. Definitely some mindless eating yesterday shortly after lunch though. I didn't get enough sleep the night before and I can tell I wanted to eat even though I'm wasn't really hungry. I was just looking for something to do to keep me awake at work. I had also found a fruit and nut bar in my desk drawer around 11 am and quickly consumed it because I was feeling hungry again and wanted something before going to the gym at lunch. I don't feel too guilty because of course it could be worse and I am proud that I still went to the gym. Often, I would have given into temptation and then think that I've already blown it, and continue down the wrong path for the rest of the day (and not exercise)... here's yesterday's food:

1. green smoothie: 1 orange, big handful of strawberries, 8 oz mixed collards and parsley, 1 T flax seed

2. fruit and nut bar

3. salad: romaine, baby carrots, 1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/2 cucumber, 1/2 avocado, dijon pistachio dressing + 3 loquats + 10 Chinese dates

4. small 1.5 cup salad: broccoli, spinach, cabbage with rest of the orange-peanut dressing; then at Boy's house: 1 can kidney beans + 1/3 bag frozen spinach + 1/2 beer

5. swim: 0:50, weights: 0:30

We had to run a 5K for the track workout today. That was very tough for me. I got lapped not once but TWICE by the fastest guy. My time was too horrible to even mention. I had a heart-to-heart discussion about it later with the coach. He told me it's all in my head. He thinks I'm not mentally where I should be and that I don't believe in myself. He says he's seen me run fast at practice but I'm not racing like that. I am capable of more. When he said that, I felt like crying.

He wasn't being mean, just honest and trying to be helpful. He gave me some things to work on. Our training group is small so I feel like a lot of times there is no one for me to run with. It is either the older, heavier men or the super fast girls. There are super fast guys as well but they are so far out of my league I hardly see them (except when they lap me more than once!). Coach thinks I should be able to run with the super fast girls. Or at least TRY to. He wants me to chase them down and hang with them as long as I can, even if it means burning out later. So that's the goal... run fast to get fast.

Today's food was not great. No bingeing, thankfully, but lots of snacking and not the right kind. I definitely overate as I feel very full now.

1. green smoothie: 1 orange, big handful of strawberries, 8 oz mixed collards and parsley, 1 T flax seed

2. salad: romaine, baby carrots, 1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/2 cucumber, 1/2 avocado, dijon pistachio dressing + 10 Chinese dates

3. clif bar

4. Great Greens + 1 cup fresh fava beans + soy crisps (1/2 bag!!!) + a lot of dried fruit

5. run: 0:50, swim: 0:30