Friday, April 30, 2010

Try, try, again...

I lost/gained nothing in the month of April, even though I didn't plan it that way. I know why and fully accept responsibility. I hate that I am stuck in neutral but it's my own fault. I joined in again on the forums at drfuhrman.com for another month to lose 10 lbs. It won't be 10 for me but I'd be happy with half of that. These are the things I'm going to do:

  • Post food logs daily. I might not get to it at the end of the night but will definitely update the next day. I will be accountable.
  • Participate more in the online support groups. I read and lurk a lot but I'd probably do better as an active participant.
  • Have a daily plan. I generally know what works for me and do well for breakfast and lunch but after work, all bets are off. I am going to make more of an effort to know what "the plan" is for dinner and stick to it.
  • NO eating at the computer anymore. I keep fooling myself and saying it's okay to eat when it's healthy food, but I still mindlessly eat, which leads to overeating.

It's just 30 days. Who can't do these things for 30 days?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Oops, my posts disappeared

I didn't intend the break in posting, but was frustrated with blogger when I had drafted some lengthy notes and then poof! Gone. It is my own fault but I didn't feel up to writing everything again so I took a break.

That was a mistake. I ended up off-track. It started on Saturday afternoon and didn't stop until last night. I feel like I keep going through the same good/bad cycles. I am frustrated and discouraged. I'm not sure how to keep momentum going. I know what to do and typically feel motivated enough to eat well for a few days and then... I'm not sure what happens. But once I've gone off-track, I end up thinking I've blown it and should just go ahead and eat everything I've been thinking about for the past few days now. And only when I'm filled with self-loathing and have hit rock bottom am I able to pick myself up again.

I need to work on my mental skills. It's not helpful to let myself spiral downward into despair. I have to catch before it gets to that point. Maybe time to incorporate Beck again?

  1. green smoothie: 8 oz kale and cauliflower stems, strawberries, orange, grapefruit, 1 T flax seed

  2. salad: romaine and kale, 1/2 cup pinto beans, 1/4 large cucumber, 12 baby carrots, 1/2 lg avocado, orange-peanut EFH dressing

  3. green smoothie: 8 oz kale and cauliflower stems, strawberries, orange, grapefruit, 1 T flax seed

  4. swim: 1:00

Friday, April 23, 2010

A Long Day

I tried to do something nice for a friend by organizing a birthday breakfast this morning for her. The usual gang was invited but NO ONE SHOWED UP! I am somewhat irritated, especially at the two people who told me they'd be there but then bailed at the last minute. Oh well. I had a lovely breakfast with just the birthday girl and myself. She had brought leftover chocolate mousse cake (her actual birthday was earlier this week) from a high-end bakery to share. Fortunately, I was able to get her to pack me a piece to go (which I won't eat) but I wasn't quite able to escape her making me taste a bite of it before she cleaned the knife. It's not a big deal, but I'd rather abstain since things like this only keep the sugar addiction alive.

I wasn't planning on doing a swim workout today but decided to go the pool anyway in hopes of persuading more swimming buddies to come to breakfast. Obviously, I was unsuccessful. Because I've been on a streak this week with getting in all of my planned workouts, I didn't want to break it by swapping a swim and skipping the planned bike workout. So I got up extra early (4:30 am!) to get in both the bike workout and the later half of the swim workout. I am tired. And the only reason I am still awake now is because I'm supposed to pick up friends from the airport tonight. Their plane arrives at midnight.

It was a fairly good day of eating. I was truly hungry around 5 pm and knew I had to go home and do a second bike workout so I ended up rifling through my gym bag to find a snack size clif bar. Not ideal but it did the job.

  1. Starbucks oatmeal with nuts + 1 bite chocolate mousse cake

  2. salad: romaine and Russian kale, 8 baby carrots, 1 cup garbanzos, 1/2 cucumber, orange-peanut EFH dressing + 20 grapes

  3. snack size clif bar

  4. salad of raw veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, 1/2 beet) with sweet pea dressing + rest of the Great Greens

  5. bike: 1:10, swim: 0:30, bike: 1:10

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Pseudo-Panics


The Gaggia broke down today at work and people were freaking out. It was an all-out panic I tell you. "What am I going to drink?!" "Where's my coffee?!!" For humor, someone removed the machine and replaced it with bottles of Tylenol and Advil. It was funny (to me, at least) but also interesting to see how addicted everyone is.


I slipped a bit yesterday and had a few cookies (whoops) but am back on track today. It was pouring rain this morning so the group run was canceled and I was left to do the written workout Coach had given me. It sounded pretty innocent (simulated "hills" on the treadmill) but after the first set, I was wondering if I'd make it through the whole thing. Also, my iPod's battery died during the warmup which meant I'd be stuck staring at my goofy face in the mirror during the hard part. Usually the only thing that keeps me going on the treadmill is music. What now?! Now who is panicking?

But stuff like this is good for me. It's not like I listen to music during a race. And I got through it just fine.

  1. green smoothie: 1 orange, 5 strawberries, 8 oz mixed cauliflower stems and bok choy, 1 T flax

  2. salad: 1/3 lg romaine head, slice red pepper, 1/2 cup garbanzos, 13 baby carrots, orange-peanut EFH dressing
    + 2 lemon treats

  3. salad: cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage with sweet pea dressing + Great Greens

  4. run: 1:00

Motivating Reason #3

I'll run and bike faster.

I always think about this as I suffer up hills on the bike and always, ALWAYS during a painful run. Trying running with 2 5-lb dumbbells or a weighted vest. It's a huge difference. The more I ETL, the closer I'll get to my ideal weight, which I'm fairly certain is at least 10 lbs lighter (though probably closer to 15).

I can't wait to be able to keep up better with my training buds.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Motivating Reason #2

I want to improve my cholesterol.

My cholesterol numbers are not good. I could make the argument that it runs in my family (my mom has high cholesterol) but I don't ever remember having it as a teenager or young adult, and I know diet has a lot to do with it. I ate a somewhat clean heavy-veggie/little sweets diet as a girl/teenager/college student, but somehow after I started working, I developed a sweet tooth -- a strong one. I had been dating a guy at the time who looked fantastic (very athletic) but who also loved his chocolate and sucked me into Sugar Land. In retrospect, I think he had his own body image issues.

Years later and though I'm over him, I am not over the sugar addiction. I also learned how to cook and bake along the way. This has been hard for me since I'm known as "the chef" amongst my family and friends am currently abstaining from those pastimes. I won't even try to cook ETL gourmet items for myself at this point because I'm afraid I will overeat them. I just want things to be SIMPLE right now.

Oops, that was a bit of a ramble. The point is, I can improve my cholesterol eating this way.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Motivating Reason #1

I don't want to get cancer, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, the list goes on...

I want good health! Let's just get the obvious out of the way first. These ailments are serious and they are scary. If there are things I can do to prevent them, why wouldn't I do them?

I refuse to give up on April

Did I say I was going to start logging my food intake again? I meant starting today. :) Sorry, I was suffering from not-enough-hours-in-a-day syndrome. I get support from two different online groups plus try to blog here which does take some time. But if it will keep me on track, it is worth it.

I can't say I had a good weekend. I binged. I won't go into the details but it wasn't good. Onward though... as of yesterday I'm back on track. I got my workouts in today which is a big deal. I have been living in Slacker City for the past few weeks, skipping workouts and sleeping in. That is very unlike me. I missed 4 of them last week! But now I'm three days in a row of being on track with my workout schedule.

There were a lot of temptations today at work. People bring in food occasionally, but today three different people brought something! And I work in a small company! There were 2 boxes of doughnuts and two different cakes. I was early enough to see the sugar mess. I have to admit that I was very tempted for a moment to take a piece of something. I quickly left the room and didn't come back until everything was gone. My willpower is not that strong but hopefully one day it will be.

I've also decided this week is motivation week. When motivating is waning, it's important to remind myself why I'm doing this. So every day this week, I'm going to list one reason I'm eating this way.

Food for today:
B - green smoothie: 1 orange, 5 strawberries, 8 oz mixed cauliflower stems and bok choy, 1 T flax

L - salad: 1/3 lg romaine head, 1/2 red pepper, 1/2 cup garbanzos, 13 baby carrots, orange-peanut EFH dressing + 1 pomelo

D - salad: cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, strawberries, grapes + small serving of Great Greens

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Lemon Treats

I made a bunch of these today and they are excellent. Slightly sweet and crunchy, with a nice lemon flavor. I'm thinking these will be great as hiking or maybe even cycling snacks.

Lemon Treats
(from Whole Foods Market)

1 cup chopped pitted dates
1 cup raw walnuts [I used raw almonds]
1 cup sesame seeds
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 teaspoons freshly grated lemon zest
1/2 cup unsweetened dried coconut flakes

Place dates, walnuts, sesame seeds, lemon juice and zest in a food processor. Pulse and blend until completely mixed. The mixture will be slightly sticky. With dampened hands, roll tablespoons of the mixture into balls. Roll in coconut and chill until ready to serve.

The recipe says it makes about 18, but I must have rolled mine smaller because I got about 25 20g balls with one extra 15g ball that I sampled.  I used an organic meyer lemon that I had which really had an intense lemon flavor.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Stay the course

I'm doing "okay" but things could be better. While I haven't binged (hurray!) and am "mostly" sticking to the plan, I've been allowing myself little "cheats" here and there. A few jelly beans, a couple of chocolate-covered raisins, some multi-grain chips -- you get the picture.

I did go the the track workout this morning, which is the first one I've been to this month. It was painful. Then again, when is track NOT painful? As D passed me on the run, I mumbled to her, "D, I hate Coach." She laughed and replied, "KJ, I've hated him for YEARS!"

There is nothing like a painful workout to make you swear you won't ever eat any junk food again. I kept thinking there was no way I was going to ruin all this hard work (and pain and suffering) with crap food! Unfortunately, several hours later during the after lunch coma, I had a few of the above-mentioned chocolate-covered raisins.

I think I need to start logging food again for accountability. Boring and tedious -- but it works.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Not a good start to April

The first part of this month have been hectic with travel and a lot of events going on. Not that those are excuses, but my eating hasn't been as good as I would have liked it. To make things worse, after having finished the race, I haven't been training hard at all and have been taking it easy. I can't remember a weekend that I didn't do at least SOME form of exercise and that describes my entire weekend!

But I'm finally back into the swing of things this week... eating vegetables again and getting back to a normal routine. I didn't weigh on Monday for fear that it would discourage me, but I'll weigh again next Monday.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Curried Eggplant and Peas



Eggplant was on sale for 50 cents each! I dug through pile of "to-try" recipes and found this one from Everyday Food magazine.

Curried Eggplant and Peas
3 medium eggplants, about 1 lb each, cut into 1" cubes
1 10 oz package frozen peas
3 T fresh lime juice (about 2 limes)
1 t curry powder
1 t ground pepper

Roast eggplant: Preheat oven to 475. Spread on a baking sheet and roast in oven, stirring a few times in between until golden and tender, about 30 minutes. (The original recipe said to use oil and salt but I simply sprayed with a little cooking spray and they were fine).

Cook 1 package frozen peas (10 oz) according to package. Rinse under cold water and set aside.

In a large bowl whisk together 3 tablespoons fresh lime juice (2 limes) with 1 tsp curry powder and ground pepper .

Add Roasted Eggplant from above.

Add 1/2 cup chopped cashews, and 1/2 cup fresh cilantro. Toss and serve.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Toor Dal with Tahini and Parsley

I found some toor dal the other day at the market at a discounted price. $1.19 for a 2 lb bag. Since dry beans are generally around $1/lb this seemed like a deal! I picked up a bag but had no idea what to do with it. The internet is my friend though and I found this lovely recipe from a blog that looks like it has some fun recipes.


I followed the recipe mostly, except I didn't add any salt, pepper, oil (just water-sauteed the onion). I'm not sure what I did wrong, but my dal never thickened to the point of looking like the picture. Oh well, it was still tasty.

Friday, April 2, 2010

April 2


I started out well today, but didn't do so great in the evening.  This morning I was invited, and then pressured, to go to breakfast with my friends after swimming, but they were going to Coco's and I wanted to skip the questions and comments about what I was eating (most likely oatmeal would have been the only choice) while everyone else had eggs and pancakes. 

It's hard sometimes because most of my friends are athletic and consider themselves healthy, but their healthy breakfasts are still not what I would eat.  For example, in my "healthy", pre-ETL days, I would order an egg white veggie omelet but that obviously has animal protein in it, the vegetables are mere afterthoughts, and it was most likely cooked with oil and salt.  I am not at the stage where I feel comfortable bringing my own food or making special requests (maybe one day though!).

For breakfast I had a green smoothie. I didn't enjoy it as much today - not sure why. For lunch I had a huge salad of hardly anything (lots of romaine, baby carrots, 1/2 small avocado, and a lot of a pea dressing (contains seeds)).

Then for dinner, I had another salad, a lentil-based soup, and then proceeded to snack. I had some baked corn chips and a few whole wheat fig bars. They are now out of the house!

I'm determined to have a good weekend - Easter and all.

Garbanzo Bean Salad with Lemon Dressing


This recipe was printed in the paper recently and when I read it, I realized I had all the ingredients. How often does that happen? I made the salad this past weekend.  I ate it during the week, on top of a big pile of lettuce. Here it is with my changes:

Garbanzo Bean Salad With Lemon Dressing
Modified from a Sunkist recipe
4 servings

SALAD
3 (14-ounce) cans garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
5 to 6 garlic cloves, minced
1 bunch green onions, chopped
Zest of 1 lemon
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
1 jalapeƱo, seeded and minced
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 red bell pepper, chopped,
1 (28-ounce) can green beans, drained and rinsed
Chopped fenne

DRESSING
1 shallot, minced
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tablespoon cumin
1/4 cup red wine or cider vinegar
Pepper to taste

In a large bowl, combine the salad ingredients. In a small bowl, whisk together all the dressing ingredients. Toss dressing with salad.

It was good, but I felt like it was missing something (probably salt!) - maybe more lemon or vinegar next time?

Also, it says it makes 4 servings but with that many beans and since I added extras, it was more like 8!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April 1

It's a new month and I've joined in a thread at the forums at drfuhrman.com to lose "10# by May 1" - although for me, my goal is just 5. Since I don't have as much weight to lose, I don't think it's possible for me to lose 10 that quickly. I'm excited and hoping the accountability and support will really help.

Although I've made a lot of good changes, I still don't feel that I'm there yet. The truth is that I STILL haven't conquered this bingeing problem and have bouts of huge sugar and salt intake. I know that it's mostly a habit for me and that this is the way I've learned to "de-stress" and cope when I'm dealing with hard emotions. Why do I still do it? Good question. I'm still figuring that part out. I think I haven't figured out a better substitute. So part of what I am going to try now are breaking the habit and replacing it with something else.

I weigh in "officially" on Monday.