Here I am again.

I didn't stop ETL-ing -- just stopped posting. Life got in the way of that. I did some triathlons in between and just finished up the last one this past weekend. Now race season is over and it's officially "Fat Season." I'm determined to make it "Fat LOSS Season." Hah. How awesome would it be to end the year off lighter than I am? I still think ETL will get me there, but is it too much wishful thinking that I could get to goal by the end of the year? That would be the best Christmas gift I could give me!

If I'm brutally honest, I've been about 60% successful implementing ETL. I've had many starts, stops, and hiccups along the way. I bet if I can move that closer to 90%, or heck, even anywhere closer to 100%, I'd be doing better. The one thing that seems to be throwing me off is the emotional eating. I am still bingeing and overeating when stressed out. I want to break these bad habits once and for all.

This is part of the reason I am posting again. Posting gives me accountability and anything I can do to make myself accountable is one step further from those bad habits.

I weighed in earlier this week at 119 lbs, which is less than I've been since I started this blog. Only a little more than 10 lbs and I'll be at Fuhrman's recommended weight.

I feel like I'm always starting day 1

I am still trying to adopt ETL, with mixed success. I had a really good, solid 2 weeks recently, but then screwed it up this week with a few days where I went way off-plan and binged on SAD food. I don't understand why I keep doing this to myself. It's very frustrating! I FEEL better eating food that's good for me, I KNOW it's better for me -- so why don't I just do it already?!

I thought about what was working for me during the past two "good" weeks. This is what I came up with:

• Was completely honest. Logged all of the food I ate, then posted it to an accountability support website I'm a part of. Somehow having to report back to people really kept me accountable.


• Kept a counter of the binge-free days. I hadn't made it past 1 week in a long time and was able to make it past that by keeping track of the days. Seeing a running counter made me not want to break my streak. I would like to make it to that magic 21-day => habit mark.


• If I had a slip-up (and there were some), told myself it was not a big deal, that I'm doing the best I can, and immediately got back on track. I need to do this so I don't give up and binge.

Onward...

Some good, some bad

After the workout this morning, one of the guys handed out homemade chocolate chip cookies to the group. He was bragging about how he (not his wife) made them and I felt bad refusing one, so I took it. I immediately put it away and didn't eat it. That was a success! But I couldn't throw it out. I took it to work with me where it sat on my desk. The entire day!!! I should have thrown it away... but at least I didn't eat it.

As a "compromise", around 4 pm when I really started thinking about eating the cookie, I had some seeds instead. Too many, but again, at least the cookie remained uneaten.

Tonight was a dinner out with the girls. I was very concerned about this since I didn't want people commenting about how I eat. I don't know why I care! No one should care about what I eat. I had an interesting discussion with a close guy friend before I went. I asked if he ever thought about what he ordered at a restaurant when out with people and if he ever felt socially pressured to eat a certain way. Nope, he said. What is my problem?

I didn't choose the best item -- I know I had way too much salt today, and I did cave and have some french fries. I feel like I am always saying this, but it could have been worse... could have ordered a real burger with blue cheese dressing, fries, and a Coke, which is what one gal had... oh and a brownie sundae with ice cream!

during workout: 1 GU

9:00 am - green smoothie: 1.5 kiwis, some strawberries and blueberries to make the total fruit content about 8 oz, 1 T flax seed, 7-8 oz kale, 2 oz pom juice

12:30 pm - large salad: romaine lettuce, baby carrots, 1/2 small avocado, 1 roma tomato, 1/4 cucumber, 3/4 cup black beans, casinera's caesar dressing

4:00 pm - 2 oz RS sunflower seeds

6:30 pm - social dinner out: veggie burger on whole wheat bun (dry) with lettuce and tomatoes, handful of french fries

E - bike: 0:50, run: 0:15

Here we go again...

9:00 am - green smoothie: 1.5 kiwi, some blueberries to make the total fruit about 8 oz, 1 T flax seed, 7-8 oz kale, 2 oz pom juice

12:30 pm - large salad: romaine lettuce, handful baby carrots, 1/2 small avocado, 1 roma tomato, 1/4 cucumber, 3/4 cup black beans, casinera's caesar dressing (about 1/8 recipe)
- 1 medium organic gala apple

6:30 pm - blended salad: mostly kale, with some raw cabbage (maybe 4 oz total), 1 T sesame seeds, dregs of a bag of sunflower seeds (maybe 1 tsp)
- 2 huge bowls of blanched broccoli and cabbage with tomato sauce (this had a little salt)

8:30 pm - frozen berries

E - swim: 1:05

Monday progress report

I am finally, FINALLY starting to feel better regarding my body. Feeling good about myself creates the inertia I need to stick with ETL. I weighed in this morning:

126.6 / 26%

Down 3.4 lbs from the last weigh-in 3 weeks ago but up 1% in BF. Not sure what that indicates...? I do know that my pants are feeling looser which I like.

Since I'm trying to incorporate some of the Beck ideas again, here is a list of the things I've been good about this week (aka giving myself credit!):

• I had a green smoothie for breakfast every weekday morning (I had long workouts on the weekends and didn't eat breakfast)


• On Thursday, there was a low-key "race" event where I only had ONE slice of pizza at the post-race buffet table and then came home and ate several cups of steamed broccoli.


• At two social meals over the weekend, I didn't cave in and ordered vegetarian fare while my companions ordered pancakes, omelets with cheese, and bacon.


• At a group dinner out, where I was under more stress than usual (try having a group dinner where an ex-boyfriend shows up and you're trying to meet guys!), I chose to order a vegetables and brown rice dish off the menu instead of what everyone else was having.


• I completed all my workouts (not sure if I should give myself credit for this since this is almost always true!).

This is what I'd like to accomplish this week:

• Get more sleep! I am much less likely to make bad decisions when rested. I'm going to aim for getting 7+ hours at least 5 days this week.


• Start doing pilates again. My midsection is where I gain the most weight (and probably why my pants get tight). My goal is to do a pilates video at least 2x this week.


• Stop eating junk food in front of the computer. This is a horrible habit of mine. Some people eat in front of the TV - my "TV" is the computer.


• Remind myself that I do not need to be 100% perfect. If I slip up, just say "oh well" and get right back on track.


• Weigh-in next Monday and report! I'll feel much more accountable if I know I have to report back.

I haven't given up

I could tell you about how busy I've been with a roommate moving out, a few more dates I've been on, social events I've planned and attended, and long bike rides I've been on, but it doesn't matter in the end... I've neglected this blog! In doing so, I also fell back into some old patterns of SAD-eating. I've done okay this past weekend, still having green smoothies and salads, but I've let too many treats back into my daily meals.

I've decided I don't think I can do the "6-week plan"... at least not right now. That probably should have been obvious with all the breaks in the actual 4 weeks that I did it. Instead, I'd like to concentrate on developing a more consistent ETL approach to my daily food. I seem to go through periods of "perfect" meals and then weekends of horribly sugary, fatty, salty foods. I may still post daily food, and I'll keep weighing in weekly to track my progress, but I'm not going to commit to a certain time period. This is a lifestyle after all...

Day 27 & 28

I am still eating too much sugar and obviously not 100% ETL-compliant.

Tuesday
7:00 am - (during workout) - 90 cal of a sports drink

9:00 am - 4 figs

11:00 am - 1 cup beans, 4 cups salad greens, 2 T pumpkin seeds
- kale, mushroom, broccoli mixture in tomato sauce
- about 4 cups watermelon
- 1 banana

6:00 pm - homemade bean burrito (beans, whole wheat tortilla, lots of cabbage)

E - bike: 1:15, run: 0:30

Today wasn't much better, except that I exercised a lot.

Wednesday (today)

8:00 am - bagel

12:00 pm - lentil, kale, and collards stew

7:30 pm - (dinner with friend): veggie burger, a few fries

E - bike: 0:55, swim: 1:00