Friday, June 5, 2009

Why do I keep falling?

I haven't posted in a few days because yep, you guessed it, I have been bingeing again. I hate that I do it, but sometimes I feel as if it is the only way to escape from the stress. And the last few days have been pretty stressful. Overeating is comforting... and it is sick.

Right now I feel very calm. I don't want to eat anymore but I know this feeling will pass. I am addicted to fat, sugar, and salt. Unfortunately, unlike drug and alcohol addicts, I can't completely abstain from food. I'm afraid of what will happen tomorrow when the calm is gone. I'm afraid that I'll find myself in the kitchen again, searching the cupboards for anything edible, stuffing my face with more and more food. My body will scream "Stop!" and that I am full but something inside me ignores it and says "I'm hungry -- keep eating!"

I know what I need to do. I have to face the problems and stress in my life and find another coping mechanism. I need to take care of myself and remember that eating doesn't solve anything. Actually, it just makes things worse. I know all this but it's easier said than done.

I don't know when I'll stop this madness but I hope it is soon.

2 comments:

  1. Hi, Kate! :)

    You are right you cannot abstain from eating but you can abstain from bad "foods." That's the difference. Think of a food you despise -- it's not hard to stay away from or say, "NO" to liver is it? Lol! Well, think of that next time you reach for your nemesis food(s)!

    How's that for a visual? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the tip Poxacuatl!

    ReplyDelete