Awareness

I've been listening to old Jillian Michaels podcasts and even though I mostly completely ignore the nutrition information, she has some great tips on getting your mind in a better place. One thing I really like about her is that she's not just about fitness. She incorporates the mind aspect of it, which is the biggest thing I struggle with.

The podcast I listened to today talked about breaking negative patterns/habits and stopping the negative self-talk.

Guilty and guiltier.

These patterns are so ingrained in me that it's often difficult to even realize I'm doing it to myself. It can easily progress very quickly from one slip-up to horrible things I would never tell anyone. It generally starts like this:

I eat something I wasn't supposed to.

"Oops"

"I can't believe I ate that"

"What is wrong with me?"

"I failed again!"

"OMG I am an utter FAILURE and am NEVER going to be able to do this!!"

Yes, overly dramatic, but that's how my mind works sometimes. The trick (or so I've read) is stopping the behavior somewhere -- ANYWHERE -- in the cycle, acknowledging it, and starting again.

Now that I'm more aware, I'm going to try to stop the cycle.